Shitti Field: Shake Shack Gives Ryne Sandberg and Lucas Duda the Shits

Well ain’t this some shit.

Ryne Sandberg got food poisoning from Citi Field’s Shake Shack. He told reporters he lost six pounds in only two days after being the only Phillies coach to put down an entire hamburger from the highly overrated establishment on Sunday. ESPN’s Danny Knobler reports:

“A couple of coaches took a bite and didn’t like what they saw and threw the rest away,” Sandberg said. “I was in a rush so I ended up putting it away.

“I had one piece of toast in two days, and I’m feeling fine about that. I don’t want anything in my stomach.”

And it wasn’t just Ryno. Mets first basemen Lucas Duda was actually hospitalized on Friday with food poisoning after eating a Shake Shack burger.

A statement was released, which is usually what happens when something in the Mets’ orbit goes hilariously, and now disgustingly, wrong:

“We’ve served thousands of guests at our Citi Field Shack over the past week, and this is the first we’ve heard of any issue whatsoever,” said Greg Waters, senior manager for marketing and communications with Shake Shack. “We take every guest concern of any sort seriously, and as such reached out to Ryne Sandberg to get more information since we have not heard from him. We stand by our food quality 100 percent.”

I love how this guy is doubling down on there being only two patrons who got sick, when both of those patrons happen to be public figures who, quite easily, can tell everyone exactly what gave them the shits. Like, I’m fairly certain there’s a meathead in Queens this morning recovering from his disembowelment with no one to turn to.


33 Responses

  1. Sidney Crosby shake shacked his pants and I loved every minute of it!

    I’m officially done with the phils this year. A loss solely on 4 unearned runs is enough. Wake me up when there’s free tickets in hot dog packs.

    1. We can start calling those “Smacked Asche” runs, bet there’s gonna be a lot of em. Those weren’t just 3 typical errors, each one was “holy Christ what the fuck are you doing” brutal.

  2. The Shake Shack on 20th and Sansom is the biggest waste of a fucking liquor license in the city. The place is essentially a McDonalds with huge windows that is able to serve bottles of Bud Light.

    It’s awful, and just because you have a liquor license doesn’t mean you’re a real restaurant.

    At least McDonalds has the dollar menu dicks.

  3. Philly is such a dirty shithole, it’s a wonder more people don’t get sick from eating those shitty cheesesteaks at geno’s. last night after the epic collapse of my overrated hockey team, I jumped off a bridge (a yinzer tradition). Come to find out, you dumb fucks can’t afford water under all your bridges 1975.

    1. Pens haters are just acting like downright idiots everywhere. crosby (cindy)this and blah blah blah. its stupid. its immature, and it means absolutely nothing. there is no insight in those hate pens comments. As I wrote in a penguins blog & hockeytalk:

      my problem has been all along that VERY few people can simply say what they see without spewing out pure spite and nonsensical garbage.

      i said id be here win or lose and i am. first things first. know that i NEVER ONCE predicted the pens to win anything – not a game, not a series, not the cup. but if you fockers thought i was going to throw anybody from my team under the bus at any point to a fan of another team, you just dont know me. will never happen. season is over, so ill dish it like i see it.

      1. dan bylsma needs to go. contrary to what crap some people say, hes a great coach. but something isnt working. his message is not getting across. they have been talking about playing one way for the last couple years but you hardly ever see it. saw it for about 3 or 4 games this post season. the rest of the time, you see hot dogging, garbage passing, loose nuetral zone play, bad coverage in the d -zone (its amazing we dont give up more goals than we do.), and wasted oppurtunities in the offensive zone. he can and will be successful in the future it just cant be with the penguins anymore. he, like the organization, is going to need to do his own evaluation of himself and figure out how to go forward. but it can not be here anymore.

      2. i dont care who crosby is. best player in the world or not, when you make 12 million dollars you need to be effective at the most important times. its why your here. you are not here to win regular season scoring titles as nifty as those might be. im not sure what happened here. i think a lot of it has to do with the way the organization being in his head about “long term health”. im willing to bet he was advised and coached to adjust his game so he doesnt enter the high traffic area that he used to. he used to be an incredible grinder, making plays in the toughest areas and taking the puck to the net. hes basically a perimeter player right now. he is never hungry going to the net anymore. he had that one season where he won the goal scoring title and then came out hard again the next year before being concussed. hes not playing the same type of game he used to.

      3. malkin is a non issue. thats good news.

      4. neal is worthless. even if he scores 40 goals again, he isnt a very good “hockey player”. he makes terrible decisions with the puck. he misses the net on most of his shots these days. he takes stupid penalty after stupid penalty after stupid penalty no matter how many times hes told to stop. hes a detriment to the organization. find a way to get him out of here.

      5. brandon sutter emerged as a much more threatening offensive threat than he has been in the past. if he can carry a 3rd line like that consistently hes going to be a stud. also, jokinen, stempniak, and goc are all keepers. i liked what i saw there.

      6. dan bylsma started undrafted 5 foot nothing brian gibbons on sids right wing for a game 7. and sat beau bennett a 1st round draft pick with a ridiculous amount of skill. thats says a lot right there. gibbons has a future on this team/in this league as a 3rd line winger, but come on. was he smoking meth? terrible decision on one of the most important coaching days of his life.

      7. not convinced marc andre fluery can win another cup. he didnt fold like he did last year and the year before. he had some really solid games. but he cant play the kind of goaltending necessary game in and game out to win. maybe im wrong, but ive seen enough to gamble on that decision.

      8. GM ray shero needs to answer some questions. like why we keep drafting all these top end defenseman and then go sign rob f’in scuderi to a 4 year almost 4 mil contract. he must have been smoking meth with dan. im not sure he needs to be fired, but he needs to account for a long list of bad decisions, and bad drafting. hes a master trader…but thats just simply not enough. the trade luck ran out…hes getting good return but they arent having the effect guys like Gary Roberts, Billy Guerin and Chris Kunitz had.

      9. im sure i missed some things but ill try to wrap it up. in the big picture, pens still do better than most clubs but thats clearly not good enough and not good enough for them with their skill and experience. im perfectly willing to accept a mediocre 8th seed, bounced in the first round type of season in order to revamp things. we need a new coach with a new philosophy and to create a new culture. enough of this country club crap. we won in 2009 on hard work and on the identity that we were a tough team to play against. nobody fears the Pens anymore. it started when we adopted a “no enforcer” policy. and just got softer and softer from there.

      10) 1975 you flyers pussies

      1. Did you really spend that much time typing that???

        Temple is serving you well.


      2. Loser is just pasting his 2am butt-hurt diatribe everywhere in hopes just one person says, “Yea duuude, you nailed it!”. Bro if you know this site you know not one person gives a fuck about your opinion, jaggoff.

        1. I’m laughing at my desk that he actually wrote that thinking anyone would read it. His name is ridicuouls too

      3. Accidentally posted this below instead of up here.

        So you begin this boring fucking post by saying that “my problem has been all along that VERY few people can simply say what they see without spewing out pure spite and nonsensical garbage”, yet you finish the post by saying “10) 1975 you flyers pussies”. Hilariously hypocritical.

        Finally, to top it all off, you throw out a hashtag like a fucking middle school girl.

    1. Maybe it was red and undercooked. I make sure all of Kacie’s burgers are well done.

  4. Naaayyyy, just finished off some apples and hay for breakfast. Getting ready for my big race Saturday!

  5. So you begin this boring fucking post by saying that “my problem has been all along that VERY few people can simply say what they see without spewing out pure spite and nonsensical garbage”, yet you finish the post by saying “10) 1975 you flyers pussies”. Hilariously hypocritical.

    Finally, to top it all off, you throw out a hashtag like a fucking middle school girl.

  6. I wish permanent burning diarrhea on every member of this organization except Chase & Chooch.

    Howard swings like he’s underwater.

    Rolins is still lazy. If Kyle actually watched games he might have seen him totally quit on that ball that went into the outfield this weekend.

    Cole Hamels is nothing special and apparently never will be.

    Cliff Lee gets 10 K’s and no runs, or 4 runs after giving up 7 in the first 3 innings.

    Papelbon – psychotic douchebag

    AJ Burnett – I’m sure his hernia won’t explode soon or anything

    Dom Brown – overrated fraud with one well-timed hot streak in his career

    Cody Asche – the living definition of a zero tool player

    Revere – they finally move JStroll out of leadoff and replace him with a guy who never walks and barely fucking gets on base. Also throws from center with the force of a golf ball queefed from a vagina, if he manages to get to the ball.

    Byrd – actually would be ok on a competing team, surprising

    Freddy Galvis – the true benchmark of where this team is and is heading. Do you realize how easy it is to find a reserve infielder for strictly defensive purposes around MLB/AAA? And we can’t even do that. But we’ve had to listen to Ruben gobbling this guy’s cock for two years because we have literally nothing in the pipeline.

    1. “Also throws from center with the force of a golf ball”

      It’s awful in premise and accuracy.

  7. It’s baffling to me watch people wait in line for Shake Shack when I visit NY. What is the big attraction. Shake Shack is also in center city but as everyone knows you can get a better burger at numerous other establishments. Shake Shack doesn’t even make fresh french fries. They are frozen. Five Guys and In and Out cut theirs fresh everyday from from whole potatoes. Don’t believe the hype!!

    1. Not a huge Shake Shack fan, but I’ve always thought Five Guys was a little overrated. It’s just a pile of peanut oil grease.

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