UPDATE: Gatorade Wins the Day for Their Tweets About LeBron Cramping

Photo credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports
Photo credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

I’ll start off by saying that the people ripping the people ripping LeBron for cramping are worse than the people ripping LeBron for cramping. Get over it. He’s the biggest star in sports and cramps kept him out of crucial minutes in a Finals game. It’s… discussable, you fun-hating weirdos.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about Gatorade’s brilliant real-time marketing. The thirst quencher received many Tweets wondering why they weren’t able to help LeBron get back on the court. The reason? LeBron doesn’t drink their product – he’s sponsored by Powerade (quite unfortunately for Powerade today) – a fact they were all too eager to let their followers know:

Voila_Capture 2014-06-06_09-22-47_AM Voila_Capture 2014-06-06_09-23-01_AM Voila_Capture 2014-06-06_09-23-14_AMVoila_Capture 2014-06-06_09-41-31_AM Voila_Capture 2014-06-06_09-23-24_AM Voila_Capture 2014-06-06_09-23-36_AM

The thing is, studies have shown that hydration has little or nothing to do with cramping (via Deadspin), but that doesn’t really matter; the prevailing public sentiment is that it does have an effect, and Gatorade seems happy to play along. As for their competitor? Well, their current marketing campaign couldn’t be more unfortunate:

Voila_Capture 2014-06-06_09-27-04_AM

That sucks. Tough day for Powerade in the drink wars. Somewhere, the guy running All-Sports’ sad Twitter account is screaming to no one in particular, “OUR PRODUCT USED TO TASTE LIKE SODA!”

Voila_Capture 2014-06-06_09-28-57_AMAnd somewhere else, Darren Rovell is feverishly masturbating to this sports-business tie-in.

UPDATE: Gatorade apologized, with great brilliance:

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Well played.


43 Responses

  1. I hope everyone today just rips into Missanelli and his man crush all day long! Everyone who calls in to Missanelli today, bring the thunder!

    1. It already started on his facebook page. I can’t wait until 2:00. He’s going to be such an obnoxious tool. Over/under on the # of times Mikey Miss uses the word “hater” today?

  2. Missanelli will come on blowing Lebron and saying that he plays harder than anybody, which caused him to cramp. He will then say that he got tweets last night saying that Lebron isn’t any better than MCW, which is total bull, but Mike likes to make up shit for content. Martinez will then get off his knees and say that everything has said is 100% right. Also, did I say that my fiance is a little bearded dwarf who can’t handle my funbags.

    1. Mike will try to spin some bullshit blaming pop for the cramps somehow… I used to like his show but hes so fucking annoying now.

      Maybe we will be treated with more kap vs foles talk today… b/c that is relevant at all…

  3. The all sport tasting like soda back in the day comment is dead on… well played

  4. Lebron is the greatest to ever play the game. You should all be ashamed of yourself. The best athlete in the NBA is allowed to cramp up when he is clearly playing harder than everyone else.

    I’d like to see you all play 40 minutes a night and run as hard as he does while playing a game with as much skill as he has. Every time I see him dunk, I get rock hard. He is such a game changing player and the broken air conditioning sabotaged Lebron’s chance of winning last night. Lebron should sue the Spurs organization for all the pain and suffering he sustained last night. If he ever gets a cramp again, I can give him the best leg massage while Myrtetus stretches his groin.

    Total violation on all of you for sending such hateful tweets to such a talented, athletic man who SELFLESSLY plays his game with integrity and passion.

    I am Mikey Miss and I know everything because I am better than all of you ever dream you could be. Oh, and Riley Cooper is a scumbag and Chip Kelly is an enabler.

  5. Phillies have their highest draft pick since 2001, but let’s discuss this fag’s cramps

  6. So, today on 97.5:

    Bruno defends LeBron

    Skippy and Lippy will have Mike Tyson on

    Mike Miss will probably go on a 4 hour tirade calling everyone who IS slamming LeBron for getting his period as know nothings, haters, and probably racists.

    Turning the radio off in 3…2..1

    1. Calling Bullshit,

      The day you turn off the radio will never get here.

      You and these other lemmings talk a big game about how sports radio sucks, but you continue to listen.

      For that, I thank you for continuing to support my lifestyle, but at the same time I feel sorry for you because you are a stooge that is incapable of standing by your convictions.

      1. I haven’t listened to miss in years as a matter of fact, i turn to classical music at 2pm since I’d rather leave the negative BS for other people. I do pop on mikes show occasionally cause that mortgage aint gonna pay itself…

        One more thing:


      2. To add on with this, to experiment I had weaned myself off the local sports radio stations on my drive home from work (if anything I’d listen for a few minutes to 610 since they have the CBS national feed) and just listen to music I like.

        Yesterday, for the first time in a while, I put 97.5 back on and couldn’t get through a few minutes of it. Missanelli is horrible and his lackey is one of the stupidest people I’ve ever heard try to put more than one word together. It was unlistenable, and I encourage people to try that experiment. Just don’t listen at all for a while, then go back and try to listen to it.

        If more people did that, I think that wanna be mobster and his knobgobbling idiot for a sidekick would be hitting the pavement looking for other jobs.

        1. Haven’t listened to 97.5 since December and I no longer feel like a degenerate. Got tired of the arrogance of prophet Missanelli, the buffoonery of the sad & pathetic Sean Brace, and the uneducated numb-skull callers. It’s Sirius and music from now on…I suggest you try it.

  7. Breaking news: I just DFA’d Tyson Gilles. He’s now off the 40 man roster. If you’re saying, “Who the fuck is that?” He was one of the three excellent prospects I got back in the Cliff Lee to Seattle deal. To recap: I got us Gillies, a cokehead who can’t stay healthy or get hits, JC Ramirez, a reliver who is destined to be a AAA lifer, and Aumont who couldn’t throw a strike if his life depended on in. But he has really good stuff.

    So, that’s it , ladies and gents. That’s the return I got for one of the top pitchers in all of baseball at the time I traded him. Aren’t you glad I replenished our farm system? 🙂

    I’m the absolute worst and I have no ability whatsoever to evaluate prospect talent. I can’t believe I still have my job when I currently evaluate talent in a way that Bill James proved to be incorrect in the 1980’s.

    1. Mr. Amaro,

      I would like to congratulate you for your persistence in disavowing the application of statistical analysis as a useful tool for predicting talent in the sport of baseball. However, as you are a Cuban, and a Son of Abraham, and I would like you to leave my country, zipperhead. It’s halftime in America, sir, and deserve’s got nothing to do with it.

      The Senile Mind Of Clint Eastwood

      ps – I have an orangutan that drinks beer.

  8. Who gives a shit about Gatorade? I am so done with this blog and Kyle’s attempts to create traffic with non-sports shit.

    Also, except for Calling Bullshit, Jorts, me, and a few others, the comments are a vast wasteland of BS and garbage.

    I should start a better blog along with Calling BS and the others that are interested in true sports discussion. Then I’d moderate the hell out of it to keep the off-topic shit and the out-of-town trolls to a minimum.

      1. Dude he’s being sarcastic,and mocking the snobby,douchebag who goes by the handle Junkhead.

        1. It isn’t sarcasm, it is just stupid.

          These handles that are being trolled haven’t even been posting as much as they were before, yet morons still insist on lampooning them.

          Give it a fucking rest.

          1. Heh heh, people rag on Kyle and his K..C.. protection for weeks, but a pompous ass like Junkhead should be left alone? I don’t think so.

    1. Somehow Gatorade tweeting about LeBron James in the NBA Finals is non-sports.

    2. Nice try, troll.
      And what handle do you typically use so I can monitor all of your posts and critique them like you do with mine?
      I’d like to see what you contribute to the comments section other than garbage.

      1. Heh heh, a Bloody Tampon called you a snobby douchebag.

        You brought this on yourself with your pompous ass-baggery. Now you get to deal with the fallout.

        1. Not sure what is pompous about calling Kyle out for protecting an attention seeking twitter whore when everyone else is fair game, but OK.

          Commence trolling my handle and bashing me now, fucktards.

          But, keep in mind first……I haven’t mentioned FOX 29 Girls in over a week except once. So, if all of you who claim to not care what I have to say, but continually slam me every time I comment, want to bash me, please try to find something different, just to keep it interesting.

  9. Maybe if Lebron would’ve properly hydrated himself like the rest of the players,he wouldn’t have cramped up.

    1. Wow! Thanks for the great insight!
      Really cutting edge stuff!
      I’m sure every player on the court was hydrating last night except Lebron James, who refused all liquids.
      Thanks again for your fabulous contribution to this blog. Keep posting so I can stay educated.


      Snobby Douchebag

      1. Did you check with Calling Bullshit before formulating your opinion there?

        Wouldn’t want you to speak out of lockstep with your little Commenters Alliance Club!

          1. And we hear from Junkhead’s sidekick, coming to his rescue.

            Oh, and Jorts called – he wants to meet you at the clubhouse. Says it’s your turn to bring the orange slices.

          2. Hahahahaha

            You must really crack them up at group therapy….or recess.

  10. I can coach these teams to win championships, I know so effing much about shots. I am above all things. Check out my sweet twitter picture, I totally don’t look like a tool.

    1. Get off our case, bro. We are up in NYC today on somebody else’s dime. As soon as it went up on the bulletin board here at the station that they needed a couple of guys to do a shift and get free boxing tickets we are there. Free 4 star hotel room so we brought the ladies with us. Have SWAG we travel. Damn, when is our next trip to Vegas. This sure beats serving beer over at Pitchers.

    2. I really wish this was the real Brace, so I could tell him in yet another forum….like I have on twitter and facebook…..how much he sucks.

  11. Let’s tone down the handle stealing guys…I hate Calling BS and Junkhead as much as the next guy but they are right in saying they’ve toned down KC talk. They’ve been commenting on the topic and shitting on Kyle. Nothing to see here…

    And let it be known I had stolen their handles at least 10 times last Friday.

    1. You steal handles too? Can we form our own club? We can build our clubhouse across the street from those 2 guys.

  12. Jesus Fucking Christ.

    2:01, and Mike is on LeBron’s Balls.

    Should have shut the radio off when I said I was.

  13. See? I told you that you couldn’t do it. Why? Because your weak. You talk a big game, but you’re weak.

      1. Well played, sir.

        (Now keep listening to the radio. I’ve got bills to pay!)

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