Nerlens Noel Has Played Zero Games, Is Already Being Sued For Child Support

via TMZ
via TMZ

Welp, I really wanted to like Nerlens Noel, so this is a bummer: According to TMZ, Nerlens Noel is currently being sued by a woman who claims he owes her child support. TMZ Sports acquired legal documents in which Jamie — the mother of the child — claims “Nerlens agreed to pay $10k per month in child support — and did for 3 months — but suddenly cut her off and hasn’t paid a dime since.” From there:

“Jamie filed a lawsuit against Nerlens hoping the judge would force him to pay up — but he fired back with legal docs of his own claiming he’s not convinced he’s the real father.

In fact, in Noel’s legal docs he writes, ‘[He] does not have sufficient knowledge of information to know whether [Jamie] engaged in sexual relations with other men during the times pertinent to this case.’

Jamie denies that claim.

Nerlens also states when he signed the affidavit saying he’s the father, he did so ‘without first fully reading and understanding’ the document.”

Okay, first off, don’t sign documents you don’t fully read and understand. That goes for everyone, but especially athletes who just became millionaires. In fact, whoever told Noel he didn’t have to read or understand that document should be fired from whatever job they have, even if it’s completely unrelated to the legal system. They’re just not smart. Secondly, Noel is now demanding a DNA test to see if he is the father, which is at least better than fully denying it and claiming you won’t pay another cent. It’s a step in the right direction.

But finally, I have seen enough episodes of Maury to at least have a hunch on when a baby is the child of a certain man, and considering that baby already looks like it’s at least five feet tall, my instincts say it’s Noel’s. But dude, clear this shit up so I can like you again.

h/t reader Vincent


25 Responses

    1. It’s not even our favorite shitty blogger! He somehow had enough of an impact on a philly area douche that the guy molded his whole style of writing after the shit master himself! Jim sat reading crossing broad every night for 2 weeks and thought kyle was super funny and cool and thought, by I’d love to work with him! He then arrived at Kyle’s house, checked out Kyle’s awesome collection of phillies promotional giveaway shit from 2010, and his super exclusive TO dickpicks! Jim decided he wanted the job, but first, Kyle had a test. Jim had to close his eyes and guess what kyle was putting in his ass! Jim fell in love at that moment and Kyle promptly sat on his face and farted. Jim has pink eye but he doesn’t care, he’s living the dream!

  1. This makes you dislike Noel? Get over it. This bitch is just trying to get some free cash.

    Glad to see Kyle hired a liberal writer. That’s just what we need, more liberal media.

      1. Yeah, because EVERYONE knows that if you don’t like the liberal point of view, well you MUST be racist. This is a fine example of being a mental midget. Thank you son.

  2. “Wow this is really shocking” says absolutely no one. Are pro athletes just intent on being broke by 32? Especially a certain segment of society. Like did you miss sex ed? This is like the apex of irresponsible behavior. Thank god for pro sports, some of these guys couldnt function doing a real job.

  3. $10,000 a month in child support???? 120k a year it cost to raise this freaking baby? Are these people insane?

    On another note did everyone hear me on Preston & Steve this morning? I’m super cool and not gay or anything. Come eat at my food truck Prime Stache.
    Brent Celek, Thincinatti

  4. why does Noel get heat for this? The fuck is wrong with not wanting to pay 10 fucking grand a month to some bitch to take care of a baby. He already paid her 30k which is what she probably makes in a year. Stop sticking up for broke whores who exploit rich dudes.

    1. If it is his child he is at least equally to blame, how dumb can you be not knowing you have a target on your back from girls who subscribe to “baller alert”. The short sightedness is what really gets me. I know it feels good to bust in chick, but now your stuck with CS payments. If you dont want to pay them DONT HAVE KIDS.

  5. Wait, a black athlete is being hit up for child support? Why is anyone surprised at this?

  6. “Nerlens also states when he signed the affidavit saying he’s the father, he did so ‘without first fully reading and understanding’ the document.”

    Wow. a Mensa candidate….not!

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