The Phillies know things are bad right now, and you might need a drink or five to get through watching a game at home. And with that in mind, they’re going to just dive right in to being enablers by handing out 1,000 Das Boots to fans at German Heritage night. Because if you’ve gotta watch the Phils, they’d rather you weren’t sober.
Or, there’s always alumni weekend where you can get a super cheesy Charlie Manuel commemorative print on the occasion of his induction on the Wall of Fame. Because nothing says the good old days like a glossy photoshop job in your hands and the same team on the field.