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I imagine that Phillies beat writers are going a little Jack Torrance by this point in the season. The press box must feel so confining, so restrictive when you’re forced to watch 2-runs-or-less baseball night after night after night redrum redum redum. So, Bucks County Courier Times reporter Kevin Cooney decided to change his vantage point.

Somewhere around hour four of the then 1-1 thriller between two of the worst teams in baseball, Cooney tweeted that he’d head out to the upper deck in right field if the game reached the 15th inning:

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Wish, granted. So, Kevin made good on his promise and punished himself by sitting in section 304 like a rather naughty boy.

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Cooney made the broadcast, because even pro-Phillies producers can only hide the misery for so long. He stayed out there for only an inning – both because Ryan Howard made people remember old times, and because of the tremendous sense of isolation (the WIFI is terrible out there!) – but was able to put the finishing touches on this story, which, impressively, didn’t turn out to be this:

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Things could be better, Lloyd.