They can never be worse than that “What Should I Do” nonsense: Tonight, LeBron James finally actually returns to Cleveland as the Cavs play their first game at home this season, against the New York Knicks. Leading up to that, LeBron’s many sponsors started rolling out their newest commercials, all centered around LeBron’s return home. Here, from worst to best, are those commercials. They’re all actually pretty good:

3. Sprite Presents: LeBron James’ First Home Game

LeBron the do-gooder stars in the newest Sprite ad, centered around James’ return to his actual hometown of Akron, to the refurbished Patterson Park (refurbished of course by Sprite and the City of Akron). It’s a lot more humble and has more of a real hometown feel compared to the other ads, but it really doesn’t sell me on Sprite and it loses about a dozen points for the incredibly generic Imagine Dragons song that plays throughout it.

2. Beats by Dre Presents: LeBron James in ‬RE-ESTABLISHED 2014

Voice over by LeBron’s mom? Check. Pseudo home video footage? Yup. Super-dramatic soft white guy music? Again. LeBron looking like the most ripped human on the entire planet? LeBron looking like the most ripped human on the entire planet. The cheese factor is strong on this one though, with LeBron working out in his old high school (I’m guessing he missed the 10-year reunion last year) and flipping over a giant tire. Flipping over a giant tire is the new go-to workout montage clip to show how ridiculously hard that person is working. It’s the new RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

1. Nike: Together | LeBron James 2014

DRAAMAAAA. LeBron has gotta say the word “city” about a thousand times in this commercial (just counted and he actually says “city” five times and “Cleveland” four times which is still a lot of times). But this has everything you want in a commercial: It’s black-and-white, the rest of the team is there, it pretends you are as much as part of the team as the actual team, large numbers of people shouting together, one of Anderson Varejao curls dramatically backlit, etc. Plus, they offer up the commercial’s final image as a desktop background like it’s 2003 or something. And in the crowd in that final image you see one fan wearing a LeBron shirsey, rap god Shawn Marion, and a guy to the left who seems to be wearing an authentic Anderson Varejao jersey, so it’s nice that they let him invite his pals to the shoot.