Pictured: A very modest office.

Pictured: A very modest office.

Pat Croce tried selling his house for $7.95 million. No one bought it. Pat Croce tried selling his house for $6.25 million. No one bought it. Pat Croce is now trying to sell his house for whatever. Someone’s gonna buy it.

The Croce mansion — which consists of three-and-a-half acres, six bedrooms, eight bathrooms, five fireplaces, a tennis court, and a pool house — will be sold at an auction on October 25th. It being Pat Croce’s house, there are also mermaids, gargoyles, and pirate-themed bar stools to enjoy, which you can see in the Wall Street Journal‘s slideshow of the home. The auction will have no reserve so you can get the place for a total steal, like $3 million or something.