Photo Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Derek Jeter’s Players’ Tribune has already published some noteworthy essays from athletes. Blake Griffin wrote about his experiences with Donald Sterling. Kevin Love talked about his decision to go to Cleveland. Michael Carter-Williams defended himself and his teammates from accusations of not trying to win. And today, Tiger Woods whined about some jokes a guy made.

Golf Digest‘s Dan Jenkins wrote a piece of parody for the magazine about a fictional interview with Woods. The piece, entitled “My (Fake) Interview With Tiger (or how it plays out in my mind),” may not actually be very funny and does come off as a little whiney in itself, but sandwiched in-between two dozen Cialis ads in Golf Digest, would anyone have even noticed it?

The answer to that is no. But Tiger Woods noticed, and struck back against his “no fun, kind of a dick” reputation by writing a piece called “Not True, Not Funny.” Dude’s a treat.

In his defense of poor, picked on Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods said the piece, which admits in its own title that it’s fictional, is a “grudge-fueled piece of character assassination,” and asks, “journalistically and ethically, can you sink any lower?” You cannot “ethically” sink any lower than writing an admittedly satirical piece on Tiger Woods. And thus finishes today’s edition of Tiger Woods — with an utter lack of self-awareness — teaches us about ethics.

Woods continues:

“No fair-minded writer would put someone in the position of having to publicly deny that he mistreats his friends, takes pleasure in firing people, and stiffs on tips—and a lot of other slurs, too.”

Tiger is right again. No fair-minded writer would do that. Which must mean Dan Jenkins is a fair-minded writer, since he never once, in his parody that had “fake” in the title, put Woods in that position. The complete lack of self-awareness here is totally astounding. Also, on a side note, Jenkins’ piece isn’t exactly funny, but it’s far from a “character assassination.” That’s what Elin tried.

The piece ends with an editorial footnote: “This is the first in a series of columns we’re calling ‘Straight Up.’ It’s a place where athletes can offer their side on something that has been written or said about them.” Oh man, I can’t wait.