Tiger Woods Proves What an Oversensitive Prick He Can Be in Players’ Tribune Piece

Photo Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports
Photo Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Derek Jeter’s Players’ Tribune has already published some noteworthy essays from athletes. Blake Griffin wrote about his experiences with Donald Sterling. Kevin Love talked about his decision to go to Cleveland. Michael Carter-Williams defended himself and his teammates from accusations of not trying to win. And today, Tiger Woods whined about some jokes a guy made.

Golf Digest‘s Dan Jenkins wrote a piece of parody for the magazine about a fictional interview with Woods. The piece, entitled “My (Fake) Interview With Tiger (or how it plays out in my mind),” may not actually be very funny and does come off as a little whiney in itself, but sandwiched in-between two dozen Cialis ads in Golf Digest, would anyone have even noticed it?

The answer to that is no. But Tiger Woods noticed, and struck back against his “no fun, kind of a dick” reputation by writing a piece called “Not True, Not Funny.” Dude’s a treat.

In his defense of poor, picked on Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods said the piece, which admits in its own title that it’s fictional, is a “grudge-fueled piece of character assassination,” and asks, “journalistically and ethically, can you sink any lower?” You cannot “ethically” sink any lower than writing an admittedly satirical piece on Tiger Woods. And thus finishes today’s edition of Tiger Woods — with an utter lack of self-awareness — teaches us about ethics.

Woods continues:

“No fair-minded writer would put someone in the position of having to publicly deny that he mistreats his friends, takes pleasure in firing people, and stiffs on tips—and a lot of other slurs, too.”

Tiger is right again. No fair-minded writer would do that. Which must mean Dan Jenkins is a fair-minded writer, since he never once, in his parody that had “fake” in the title, put Woods in that position. The complete lack of self-awareness here is totally astounding. Also, on a side note, Jenkins’ piece isn’t exactly funny, but it’s far from a “character assassination.” That’s what Elin tried.

The piece ends with an editorial footnote: “This is the first in a series of columns we’re calling ‘Straight Up.’ It’s a place where athletes can offer their side on something that has been written or said about them.” Oh man, I can’t wait.


12 Responses

  1. Jim, the “stories” you choose to cover are seriously fucking worthless. Look back at some of the topics you have covered the past few days, and take a moment to reflect on your life and where it went wrong.

    1. I dunno. I found the Koy Detmer story about NFL players faking injuries to be riveting and ground breaking. Who knew such deceit existed in the NFL? Cutting, edge, Jim, bravo,!

      This blogging thing is temporary, yes?


    2. You complain when they don’t write enough stories in a day, then complain when they actually do write stories. And when I say “write”, I mean copy and paste, and add a few sentences.

    1. Tiger does love himself some snow bunnies 610-632-0975.

      But I highly doubt he hates the sistas 610-632-0975.


  2. Let’s talk about the Adrian Peterson suspension 610-632-0975.

    We’ll talk Eagles football later 610-632-0975.

    Joining me now is another former Eagles talking head in Marc McMillan 610-632-0975.

    I promise you after the break we’ll talk Eagles football 610-632-0975 610-632-0975.

  3. Buddy of mine is a pro and has met Tiger several times. Said the guy couldn’t be more of a asshole in person. Mentioned how he basically treats 90% of the people around him like shit – that’s his thing – being an asshole. He’s not very liked by most people who have to deal with him or have had the pleasure of dealing with him. This article on his crybaby antics could not be more spot-on.

  4. I laugh at how a serial womanizer who was cheating on a woman too good for him to begin with can teach people how to be ethical.

    He’s just butt hurt because now his career is so obviously taking a nose dive. We will never ever see the Tiger Woods of the past. it will be this shell of the former Tiger from now on?

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