BREAKING: Jimmy Rollins Has Reportedly Been Traded to the Dodgers, and Antonio Bastardo to the Pirates

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More soon. Keep it here. This post.

UPDATE 1: Buster Olney confirms.

UPDATE 2: Bob Nightengale confirms the confirmation, because all respected writers have to confirm other respected writers because otherwise they wouldn’t be respected or something.

UPDATE 3: Checking on my Dad. I’m not sure he’s going to be able to handle this at his age.

UPDATE 4: Dad’s surprisingly OK. J-Roll™ was his favorite player.

UPDATE 5: We’ll always have:

UPDATE 6: A third team, says the bow tie man!

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UPDATE 7: Not so fast, my friends!

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UPDATE 8: Ryan Lawrence also says it’s not done. It looks like Salisbury may have… swung at the first pitch.

UPDATE 9: Who do we think sponsors J-Roll’s™ farewell Tweet– Red Bull or Jordan Brand?

UPDATE 10: What usually happens in these situations is that it’s reported as a “done deal” but there are still minor details being worked out and such, so then people say it’s not totally done, then it gets totally done.

UPDATE 11: Eskin also reporting a third team

UPDATE 12: Umm:

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UPDATE 13: EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING. BIG ASS BASTARDO REPORTEDLY ON HIS WAY TO PITTSBURGH (NOT DONE). I’m ignoring the two minor league pitchers thing because a way to combat anger is to take five minutes before reacting to news like that.


UPDATE 15: Jon Heyman says the Phils will get two pitching prospects when deal is done. My rage, it’s blinding me skdjfklawje;fjs;dkfjskldfsfs.

UPDATE 16: Jayson Stark says Rollins hasn’t officially waived his no-trade and that it’s not done, yet.

UPDATE 17: Leslie’s son is the Philadelphia sports experience in a nutshell:

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UPDATE 18: Eskin says Bastardo to Pirates is done. Or almost done. Or happening. Whatevs.

UPDATE 19Joel Sherman says the Pirates supposedly send the Phillies minor league pitcher Joely Rodriguez in exchange for Ass.

UPDATE 20: Matt Gelb has his first useful Tweet of the afternoon, confirms Sherman’s report of Joely Rodriguez. I’m going to misspell that so many times.

UPDATE 21: Jim Salisbury confirms Gelb’s report. Everyone’s sitting in a circle, tugging each other.

UPDATE 22: Rollins’ sister:

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UPDATE 23: The Phils’ social media person – working after 5! – confirms the Bastardo deal.

UPDATE 24: 🙁

UPDATE 25: This makes me feel better. From ESPN New York:

And on the day the Phillies traded Rollins to the Dodgers, a second source repeated what reported a month ago at the GM Meetings: Rollins had no interest in playing in New York.

Sources told in November that the Mets inquired earlier this winter about Rollins’ availability and were told he had no interest in waiving his no-trade clause to join the Mets.

UPDATE 26: The Dodgers and their new moneyball-with-money approach have traded Dee Gordon to the Marlins.

UPDATE 27: I’ve fallen into a loop like Jimmy Fallon in Fever Pitch watching Rollins highlight videos. I’m sad.

UPDATE 28: Two hours and no one knows what exactly the Phillies got in return. This has PTBNL written all over it.

UPDATE 29Chillwagon posits a theory: What if Dodgers are using prospects from Marlins deal to send to Phillies for Rollins… or Cole Hamels?


21 Responses

  1. Can’t wait for Kyle’s all-caps rage post once the deal is finalized and we find out how badly Rube screwed this up

  2. Kyle, when will this be turned into a tshirt? Presumably a grey one?

    Also, who cares what Leslie Gudel has to say? I don’t know which is worse, her voice or Dei Lynams face

    1. Oh don’t you worry about it Mr. GPA. Kyle and I have been burning the midnight oil brainstorming ideas.

      Here’s a taste of what we came up with:

      “Keep Rollin(s), Rollin(s), Rollin(s)!” On a solid red tee in black writing, as an ode to Kyle’s favorite band Limp Bizket and Fred Durt’s red Yankees cap.

      Ts starting off at $50/each or 2 for $120.

      (Whats Chocolate Covered Star Fish have to do with Philly sports you say? Since when has that ever mattered. See Sanchez Ts, Taylor Swift videos, or basically any article posted by Jim )


  3. Queue all of the Phillies fans screaming that we only got “THAT” for Rollins and Bastardo…what were you expecting Puig and Marte?

  4. Anyone notice on twitter how bad Victorino is on Mariota’s Dick ???????Was the same way with teo

  5. Sorry, today is general knowledge Wed. What year was Kris Kringle born? But Mik@ I wanted to ask what you thought about Jimmy being….click. Hey, Martin@z you know what year Kris Kringle was born. Uuuuuuuuh. Come on that question is a lay-up

    1. Haha, “General Knowledge Wednesday” is awful. It’s like the show is moving along and then BAM! Show comes to a screeching halt while Mike asks retarded questions to people who often cant hear what he says so he repeats it 3 times. I know he wants his little game show gig but do it on your own time. And don’t get me started on Martinez inserting Mike’s dick into his mouth with “OH YEA MIKE, I CANT WATIT TO HEAR THE CATEGORIES YOU HAVE TODAY, IM SURE THEY ARE ALL GREAT, THAT’S GOOD WORK OUT OF YOU”. Fucking terrible.

    1. If you donn’t believe that other people think so, you can’t possibly have watched much of the last 14 years.

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