Goddammit, Aaron. God. Dammit.
The real life Sloan Sabbith was on Watch What Happens Live – that show with that guy on that channel your wife or girlfriend watches but you totally don’t watch – last night and agreed to play Plead The Fifth, a game in which you can decline to answer only one question out of three. Noted fiend (don’t click that link!) Munn was eager to answer the first one tossed her way: Do you have sex on game days? Her response, as you lean closer to your computer:
Cohen: “Do you have sex on game days?”
Munn: “I will say this: All the good luck charms are on the field and in the stands, it has nothing to do with me. And no we don’t, not on game day… there’s not a rule, but it just doesn’t happen because there’s other things to focus on.”
Cohen: “If he plays well, do you have sex after the game?”
Munn: “Depends on how late the game is.”
Padma Lakshmi: “Do you have sex the night before? Is that game day?”
Munn: “There’s no rules, by the way, it just doesn’t happen because there’s stuff to do. But usually yes, I try to have sex as much as I can.”
GODDAMN YOU, AARON! That Eagles-Packers game started at 4:25 EST (3:25 local time!), which means Rodgie was home and balls deep at exactly 8:40 p.m. his time while the rest of us flipped over from Homeland to NBC to catch the second half of Sunday Night Football after a day of licking our wounds from watching Rodgers put up 53 points and doing that cocky strut thing he does when he completes a deep pass (which is actually kind of sexy, if I’m being honest). Turns out that thing is a bleeping mating call for his freak girlfriend. No wonder why the Packers are undefeated at home! Can you imagine the incentive structure in this social contract?! This is a girl who once sent a boyfriend annotated photos of herself with captions that would make E. L. James blush (DON’T CLICK IT!). I don’t even want to know what Discount Double Check means inside the Rodgers household. I’m not sure I could handle it. All I know is that this is Rodgers’ world– the rest of us are merely inhabitants.
Can someone please kidnap Munn until after the Conference Championship round? Please?! PLEASE?!?!?!
Video after the jump.