Riley Cooper and Everyman Jason Kelce were at the Flyers Game, But It’s This Guy’s Tweet that was the Highlight of the Night

http://instagram.com/p/wfWbBNB-SH/

It’s in the caption above, but let’s just appreciate that again:

Screen Shot 2014-12-12 at 10.29.29 AM

Both Kelce and Cooper were at the Flyers game last night on the Club Level (feel like Mr. Snider would want that capitalized), so that’s where we assume this picture was taken. There’s a lot to unpack here, and honestly I don’t know where to begin, but if that Tweet was a joke, it’s perfect. If it was serious, because the tweeter and Cooper had a good conversation about the Eric Garner situation and race in America, it’s perfect. If Cooper just dropped that line as a non sequitur that he thought was appropriate, that’s perfect. Hell, if Cooper had an allergic reaction to shellfish and just shouted “I can’t breathe,” that’s perfect.

All the while, Kelce just smiles.

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50 Responses

  1. In my humbled opinion,these are the cutest Eagles:

    Mychal Kendricks
    Nate Allen
    Riley Cooper
    Mark Sanchez

    Thoughts.

  2. I don’t think that tweet was over the top funny at all? In fact, I didn’t even chuckle.

    Anyone else agree that Jim is a cuckold that doesn’t understand humor or how to write?

    1. Are you some kind of retard? It’s funny because Cooper is a known racist. As is the case with most racists, he is probably uncomfortable around people of color. So if in his discomfort he blurted out ‘I can’t breathe’, it’s awkwardly funny. It would be comparable to Ted Nugent walking around Kensington, crossing paths with a couple of brothas and doing the ‘hands up, don’t shoot!’ dance that is all the rage in da clubs.

        1. Look, if we can’t laugh at local athletes who aren’t living up to their contract, are terrible in the locker room and threaten to fight all the Fergies at a country music concert, then the terrorists have already won. I’ll tell you another thing ‘Chris’, if that’s even your real name, these colors don’t run!! Right KYLE?

          USA! USA! USA!

      1. Says the guy who wears a headband, 6 wristbands and knee high socks when he ‘balls’ at the local J e w i s h center. Right KYLE?

          1. The goatee never goes out of style, it’s a timeless classic like the mullet, the j e w-
            phro or the ‘pickup the shield

          2. ‘Pickup the shield’ is one of those shirts that we’ll look back on 10 years from and remember where we were when it was first released. I’ll never forget the day it arrived in the mail, it feels like it was just yesterday. I immediately threw it on and hit the town. Every club I wore it to, people would ask me ‘what the hell is that?’ or ‘what does that even mean?’ Haters gonna hate, Amiright kyle?

    1. Jim and Kyle have the same writing style since Jims been here. But then again the half a beer and Irish coffee are kicking in. What do I know?

    2. I’ve always thought Jim’s incoherent writing style is too amateurish for the site. Bringing his shitty writing ability to CB was a genius move on Kyle’s behalf, I’ll give him that. What better way to deflect some of the hate and give C-grade stories to, other than to hire a shitty hipster amateur blogger? Kyle always takes the stories most of us care about (I.e. J-Roll trade) and Jim is stuck reporting the rest of the garbage no one cares about (I.e. this). Jim absorbs the hate, and Kyle’s writing abilities automatically look superior – to which they are.

      Bravo.

      1. Dude, did you suddenly forget that KYLE spent a month analyzing Sanchez’ love of chicken tenders and regularly references Taylor Swift songs? I’d say they split the irrelevant stories right down the middle. You can keep your weak-ass criticism of Jimbo Adair, that’s MY bitch! I’m the one who puts him in his place. Ya dig?

          1. What do you want me to quiet doing?

            I have the right comment on here, like you.

            Why don’t you quiet?!?

  3. Kelce always on Riley Cooper’s hip means he is probably a racist douchebag as well. Fuck this team. Any reports of Kelce bullying fans with signs?

  4. Asshats aint got no stylish wayz Bitches. You fucking bets hope they beat dem boys Sunday night. Shit this mofo town aint got sheet besides big ball chip and dirty sanchez butt. Mothafucking Dez gonna be chirping like Sherman was last sun. Bitches aint got sheet with them shit ass 3 and quick outs. Motha fuckin fat loud drunks gonna be spitting fire if eagles lose. Sheeeeeeeeet mofos

  5. I think Cooper is terrible and should be cut but this tweet is unoriginal and expected. Not comedy at all. Kyle, mark this post to be discussed in Jim’s year end review as reason for a pay cut or lay off.

  6. I would give everyone in that pic a mustache ride, if you know what I mean…

  7. Garrick is kinda bein’ a Tom in this situation here i think. And it isn’t funny. What would have been funny is if Garrick punched him in his big stupid head.

  8. On a side note. Interesting news in the Aaron Hernandez trial broke today, won’t be tried in the double homi and bellachek will have to go to court as a witness. How pissed will he be if he has to go during the playoffs?

  9. The goatee never goes out of style, it’s a timeless classic like the mullet, the j e w-
    phro or the ‘pickup the shield’ t-shirt.

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