UPDATE: The Sixers Won a Game, but Do We Get Papa John’s?

The Sixers won a game last night and everyone took to the streets to celebrate. Did I get that right?

Those there are your, um, highlights from a 85-77 thriller(?) in Minnesota. The Sixers once again avoided a dubious (losing) record and inched just a step closer to not getting the number one pick next year.

But perhaps the most interesting question, one that has to be bouncing around the mind of a drunken pizza CEO, was brought up by (@SteveMcG22): Do we still get 50% off Papa John’s today?

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If you’ll recall, Papa John’s lowered their threshold for discounting pizza when it became obvious that the Sixers, if lucky, would win ones of games this year. Sixers win and save 50% turned into Sixers merely approach the NBA average for points per game and save 50%. But they didn’t even manage to do that last night. We seem to have located a tear in the logic circuitry. But maybe that’s for the best. A Sixers win and no one is shoving Papa John’s shitty food down our throats? Now that’s a double-double I can get behind.

Separately: I haven’t been one bit embarrassed to be a Sixers fan this season. I get what they’re doing and think it makes sense. But their Twitter account gloating about it like they just clinched a playoff spot – with a Marc Zumoff-Denise Lynam selfie thrown in for good measure – made me all sorts of uncomfortable. Like, yeah, cool, they won, but maybe just a little restraint so as to not remind people that you’re probably going to wind up being the worst team in the history of organized sport? Just a bit? Just a weeee tinnnny bit of restraint?

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Ah fuck it! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5:

UPDATE: YES!

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9 Responses

  1. “I get what they’re doing and think it makes sense”

    Please explain why it makes sense what they are doing? If you want to get younger and build for the future I am okay with that. But 3/4 of your team should be on a D league team. They have 4 first round picks the last two drafts. Only one has had any kind of impact so far. All 4 should be playing and gaining experience and contributing. Everyone thinks Hinkie has this wonderful plan, anyone (even Jim Adair) could come in and lose on purpose. 5 years from now, they will be no better off. The best thing that could happen is that the team is moved and we get an existing franchise to move here.

    1. can you support your statement of “5 years from now, they will be no better off”. Not being sarcastic, just legitimately am wondering why you think that.

      They may have the worst record in nba history this year, so if they are no better off in 5 years at least by a little bit then you’re right they should blow up the franchise. However, what is the chance that is even possible.

      Also, the picks they have gotten are part of the plan. They kinda realized noel wouldn’t play for a year, as well as embiid too. Which in turn should hopefully bring in more high draft picks in the next year. I’m just wondering how people can say there is no plan, when there is clearly a plan that even a blind 2 year old could recognize from a mile away.

  2. But maybe just a little restraint so as to not remind people that you’re probably going to wind up being the worst blog in the history of organized sport? Just a bit? Just a weeee tinnnny bit of restraint?

  3. Papa John’s is without a doubt some of the worst pizza I have ever had. I ordered it once and threw most of it out. Nasty. Papa John is also a dickhead who is a multbillionire or something like that and cut his employees hours because he couldn’t afford health insurance. Yeah, I guess that house with a man made lake and a gazillion rooms and golf course has put you in a hole!

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