Why Does Mark Sanchez Look Like an Old Man When He Works Out?

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Alternate headline: Here’s a Pic of Ripped-Up Connor Barwin and Mark Sanchez for the Ladies and also the Dudes

From Special Teams specialist Chris Maragos comes this comparison shot of Barwin and Sanchez gettin’ mad and pumpin’ iron. That’s Kyle’s headline at the top, and I can’t exactly put my finger on why, but Sanchez really does look pretty old man-esque. Maybe it’s the no shirt/sweatpants combo? The short-neck struggle look? The super-thin gold chain? It’s probably a combination of all three of those. Kyle’s got some thoughts.

Kyle: For real, why does Sanchez look like the wrinkly-balled old guy at the gym who grunts in a way that makes you unsure whether he’s working his tris or having a horrific flashback from ‘Nam? This concerns me greatly. I think you hit the nail on the head with short-neck struggle look, though. You put into words what I could only feel. Speaking of feeling: I would love to feel safe in Connor Barwin’s arms. Hold me, Connor. Hold me.

h/t Hall of Fame CB reader @Banditmax


8 Responses

  1. Too many Chicken Fingers,Cheese Fries and Cheesesteaks for Sanchez,and not enough workouts.

    If Sanchez put as much into his workout routine as he does at stuffing his face with artery clogging foods he would have a body like Lebron James.

    1. Did someone reference CHICKEN FINGERS? Kyle, link the video again!

      In all seriousness though. Jim who the fuck are you to judge someone else’s physique, especially that of a player in the NFL? I imagine you’re eating some tofu or some other hipster bullshit food, thinking it’s healthy, and shopping at Whole Foods like the Nancy you are. I love Kyle’s commentary in this post. It’s as if you needed someone creative to weigh in because your mind is just thinking about PBR at this point on a Friday afternoon.

  2. Did Jim really just say Mark Sanchez looks “old man-esque” ??

    Jim: please refer to your shaming at the Sixers shootaround and your wardrobe that evening.

  3. Classic Kyle- more concerned about how someone looks half-naked in the gym than how they play on the field. Also, he likes to imagine Sanchez with old saggy balls…

    The man-crush on Chase is one thing, but these days every half-naked player or tinder story gives him a raging hard-on.

    If I were Mrs. Crossingbroad I would be concerned…

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