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I took the dog outside before and almost ate it on my patio next to the grill BECAUSE NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ICE TODAY(!!!). I was luckier than the three [UPDATE: four] people who lost their lives in accidents this morning including a 56-car pileup on 76 and another accident on the Blue Route, again BECAUSE NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ICE! And that includes John Bolaris, who’s taking the deaths particularly hard– blaming himself and all other local meteorologists for failing to adequately warn the public:

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Don’t sweat it, John. I’d place more blame on your former employer for missing on stuff like this. Guess someone over there must’ve dropped their First Alert Weather baton?*

http://youtu.be/RU5FiXC17uA

*I firmly believe that the only reason they turned that on-screen bug into a real-world object was so they could film Sheena Parveen and Jillian Mele walking around in tight dresses. Not complaining, just saying.