John Bolaris Is Taking Icy Road Deaths Particularly Hard

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I took the dog outside before and almost ate it on my patio next to the grill BECAUSE NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ICE TODAY(!!!). I was luckier than the three [UPDATE: four] people who lost their lives in accidents this morning including a 56-car pileup on 76 and another accident on the Blue Route, again BECAUSE NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ICE! And that includes John Bolaris, who’s taking the deaths particularly hard– blaming himself and all other local meteorologists for failing to adequately warn the public:

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Don’t sweat it, John. I’d place more blame on your former employer for missing on stuff like this. Guess someone over there must’ve dropped their First Alert Weather baton?*

*I firmly believe that the only reason they turned that on-screen bug into a real-world object was so they could film Sheena Parveen and Jillian Mele walking around in tight dresses. Not complaining, just saying.

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24 Responses

  1. Should do a poll on how Johnny is going to kill himself. I say pills. I prob say slow black drives could of been a fsctor

  2. Missanelli is definitely happy people are dead, or at least indifferent.

    As long as he gets his hair dye, does anything else REALLY matter?

  3. The comment i have read posted in this blog are an embarrassment and a disappointment in humanity as a whole. I dont care how old you are or what is wrong with you there is no excuse. When karma comes for you, remember all your thoughtfull words you offered regaurding this tradgedy. FREAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. This is what happens when people put faith in Broadcast Meteorologists who have no scientific background and are hired for their tits and how they look in a tight dress.

  5. Had Bolaris not spent his entire night having hookers shove gerbil’s up his ass and coke in his nose, he would have gotten the forecast right.

  6. They were calling for ice for days. Maybe you should read a weather forecast once in a while. Like on Then maybe you wouldn’t have almost ate your grill. Too bad you didn’t it might have knocked some sense into you.

  7. Accu-Weather’s app on my phone was forecasting ice on Sunday morning as early as Friday night and Saturday.

    There’s no excuse for the lack of road treatment.

    But it takes an act of Congress for the PENNDOT government drones to get off their lazy, unionized asses on a weekend to be proactive against the weather. Same goes for the City of Philadelphia and the Port Authority for the bridges.

    And on a 3-day MLK holiday weekend…you can pretty much forget about getting any help from them.

    They all have blood on their hands today.

  8. John Bolaris is an arrogant, self-centered douche who doesn’t give a flying fuck about the people whose deaths he’s so publicly mourning.

    The whole purpose of this was a calculated effort on his part to show that ALL meteorologists can be massively wrong about a forecast.

    He’s still trying to dig out from his infamous “storm of the century” bullshit that ruined his career.

    What he’s really saying through his bullshit tweets is “See everybody??!!?!?!?! I’m not the only one who can really fuck up a forecast!! Everybody screwed this up…we’re all human. I hope that now you’ll let me rejoin mainstream broadcasting instead of keeping me on the outside, clawing for attention with a weather website that looks like a 13 year old kid designed it as an IT class project.”

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