I’m sorry, what?
Ryan and Krystle Howard (a former teacher) have released their first in a series of children’s books about the baseball adventures of… wait for it… keep waiting… here goes: Little Rhino!
From the book’s description on Amazon, which lists the author as a guy whose career highlight came nine years ago:
A new chapter book series from Major League Baseball’s 2006 National League MVP, Ryan Howard!
Every day when Little Rhino comes home from school, he finishes his homework, grabs his bat, his glove, and runs outside to meet Grandpa James. They always practice catching and hitting in the backyard. Playing baseball with grandfather is Little Rhino’s favorite thing to do, especially when he pretends to be a real Major League homerun hitter.
One afternoon, after a long day of second grade, Little Rhino comes home to find out that Grandpa James has signed him up for a baseball league! Little Rhino will finally be a part of a team! But Little Rhino will quickly learn that is not always so easy to a good teammate, especially when there’s a bully wearing the same uniform as you.
From Major League Baseball superstar Ryan Howard and his wife, Krystle Howard, a former elementary school teacher, this exciting new series is a fun read for sports and book fans alike!
I’m going to be extremely upset if the bully is not a wedgie-giving narcissist named Five-Eighths, because Howard wrote in the prologue: “Not everything in these books happened to me, but a lot of it is based on my life!” Oh boy, I can’t wait for the one where Little Rhino is backwards-K’ed by Tiny Gimpy, or the one where Grandpa James tells Little Rhino he’s not welcome on the team anymore and no other team wants him because he commands too many orange wedges. That would serve as a harsh dose of reality to those sickeningly rosy youngsters.