Sal Pal’s Melodramatic Hype Machine is Contradicting Itself

Photo credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
Photo credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Sal Paolantonio hopped on 97.5 again yesterday because, I’m told, his spots are among the highest rated 15-minute time slots each week for the station (no joke). He was part of 97.5’s Football Roundtable, an actually pretty decent thing where Mike Missanelli, Sal, Brian Westbrook and Tim McManus get together to talk about the state of the Eagles. It’s good radio, overall, but, not surprisingly, Sal was a shit-throwing drama queen and posited plausible theories that anybody could’ve come up with which basically contradicted the plausible theories that anybody could’ve come up with that he put forth on Saturday, on 97.5, speaking to McManus and Pat Callahan.

Watch as full-fledged Melodramatic Sal, a cousin to Speculation Sal, contradicts himself:

Saturday

“It’s virtually impossible to draft Marcus Mariota from where the Eagles draft. How much they would have to give up to move up to get Mariota is draconian. I can’t see a solution to this problem other than making your team so weak that you mortgage the future.”

Tuesday

“So if Marcus Mariota says go the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Tennessee Titans [and says], “You may draft me, you may do an Eli Manning here, but I’m gonna do an Eli Manning on you. I don’t want to play for you. I want you to trade me to the Philadelphia Eagles.” Okay? So there’s a back room deal that’s worked out. “I wanna play for my coach, and I’ll play if I’m traded. If not, I won’t play for you.”

It’s virtually impossible… until you construct a scenario in which it isn’t.

Saturday

“Could it happen? It could. Is Kelly absolutely infatuated with this young man? He is. If Oregon and Mariota win the National Championship, it’s even gonna be much more difficult to get this guy, to try to move up that many spots.”

Tuesday

“Everyone says you gotta jump from 20 to 1. You really don’t. If you analyze this, you really only have to jump ahead of three teams:, just three, to get to Tampa’s number one pick. The Tennessee Titans at number two will probably take a quarterback because they need a quarterback. Then you go all the way through: Jacksonville doesn’t need one, Oakland doesn’t need one, Washington doesn’t need one, the Jets do at six — there’s another team — St. Louis Rams at ten, that’s three. Then you go all the way down to the Eagles at 20, okay?”

“It’s a good way [to get him]. You don’t have to go ahead 19 teams, you just have to beat out three others. If I’m Marcus Mariota, do I want to play for the Tennessee Titans? No I don’t. Do I want to play for the New York Jets? I do not. Do I want to play for the St. Louis Rams? Maybe. Maybe I do because the Rams are moving to Los Angeles and I’d rather play on the West Coast. So the team that you absolutely must beat in the trade discussions, is the St. Louis Rams. And the one thing the Eagles have that the Rams don’t have, is what? Chip Kelly.”

Presenting Jenga: Sal Pal Edition!

Voila_Capture 2015-01-07_11-16-19_AM

If you pull one out, the whole thing falls down! Watch: If I’m Marcus Mariota, do I want to play for the Tennessee Titans? No I don’t. Do I want to play for the New York Jets? —edit: YES—. Do I want to play for the St. Louis Rams? -Maybe. Maybe I do because the Rams are moving to Los Angeles and I’d rather play on the west coast. So the team that you absolutely must beat in the trade discussions, is the St. Louis Rams. <—— That’s not true anymore!

Or: If I’m Marcus Mariota, do I want to play for the Tennessee Titans? No I don’t. Do I want to play for the New York Jets? I do not. Do I want to play for the St. Louis Rams? —edit: NO— Maybe I do because the Rams are moving to Los Angeles and I’d rather play on the west coast. So the team that you absolutely must beat in the trade discussions, is the St. Louis Rams. <—— That’s not true anymore!

You get the point. And regardless, wouldn’t it be four teams the Eagles would need to beat out if you include the Bucs, who, you know, might actually want to draft the guy? Am I missing something here?! IS MY SAL PAL HYPE MACHINE BROKEN?!?!?!

Saturday

“I just dropped a major hint— there’s only one coach who can coach Marcus Mariota.”

Callahan: “That’s the coach you talked about who has almost no probability of getting him, right?”

“Not unless that coach is coaching in Tampa.”

Tuesday

“It’s pretty clear that [Chip Kelly] wants control of the operation so he can control a way to get Marcus Mariota. Someway, somehow. You’ve got to believe he’s trying to figure out a way to get Marcus Mariota. That’s the only reason why he would go through all of this upheaval and all of this internal gymnastics to figure out a way to remarry himself with a player that he loves, that he knows can run this system at a championship level.”

Mike Miss: “Is it possible that Chip came in there and said, you put me in charge, this is what I want to do?

“Well that I don’t know. That I don’t know. That I don’t know. I’m saying this guy’s a big thinker, he’s always been a big thinker. If I’m a big thinker and I know that I want this guy, there’s a way to do it. There’s a way to do everything. You figure it out.”

Saturday

“I think it’s still theoretical in nature.”

Tuesday

“People are saying it’s a pipe dream. I’m not [so] sure that it can’t be done.”

So, to recap, Sal Pal, “ESPN’s preeminent  Eagles reporter” according to 97.5, said it’s virtually impossible for the Eagles to draft Mariota because they can’t move up that many picks, unless they can move up that many picks because it’s really not that many picks, because only three four teams want him, but one of them has the first pick, but if he goes to Tampa, Chip Kelly will leave the Eagles when his contract is up to go there and coach Mariota even though the only other team Mariota may want  to play for is the Rams but not really because Chip Kelly’s not their coach and that’s the only team the Eagles are competing with for his services, because if you throw enough shit at the wall, something will eventually stick and Sal will look like a genius. Got it.

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62 Responses

  1. So ….he’s hedging his bets on multiple scenarios in order to say hes right at some point.Maybe?And we are surprised by this?

  2. Saw Sal Pal at the Avalon supermarket a couple summers ago. His wife grabbed a giant loaf of fresh bread from the case and molested it with her face to smell test it. She proceeded to put it back and not buy it after getting the loaf of bread all excited that someone was possibly interested in it.

  3. 97.5 Football Round-table: Sal Pal, Mikey Miss, and Timmy Mac….along with Brian Westbrook who probably wanted to hang himself halfway through that insufferable douche-fest.

    1. Yeah, because Westbrook is so good on TV and radio…..he is a step above Ike Reese…barely

      1. He’s not the greatest TV presence. He is better on radio, but unlike the other three clods he isn’t punch-him-in-the-face hatable.

        1. McManus isn’t that bad.

          Sal and Miss are cartoon characters at this point.

          Westbrook is just another ex-Eagle who landed a job in local media.

  4. Sal is full of shit. This is nonsense. We’ll be hearing this crap until draft day. The radio stations will have nothing to talk about for 6-9 months. Flyers, Sixers, and Phils offer nothing worth discussing. Sports abyss.

    1. Agreed both stations with nonstop Marcus Mariota Chip Kelly talk is nauseating,but at least you have Mike Missanelli with his insufferable general knowledge bullshit to the rescue.

        1. Typical nauseating conversation from Mike Miss show:

          MM: His character name was Bilko Bortsky. HOW BOUT THAT PULL?!?!
          Mrytetus: That’s nice work by you.

          MM up his own ass and Myrtetus is right next to him.

        2. … the topics are the same as they are every week:

          1. the wire and sopranos trivia
          2. godfather, goodfellas, and casino trivia
          3. cobwebby old geezer rock lyrics

          which one will it be?

  5. Why is this even a discussion? There’s no way the Eagles get him. You have to be a complete moron to believe otherwise. Also, does he play cornerback?

    At this genius roundtable, shouldn’t they be discussing the Eagles upcoming playoff game instead?

    1. Anybody? I have been hitting refresh all night. Will somebody please give me attention? Anybody? I hate being unemployable. God, my wife is fat.

  6. This blog should be renamed a Philly sports radio blog instead of a Philly sports blog. I wonder if he gets royalties ever time a radio station, radio host or story from the radio is blogged about.

  7. get in line…..i told Kyle that his site was “TMZ meets ESPN” and Phila Magazine used it.

    ” I say it here….and it comes out there”
    – Albert Brooks, Broadcast News

  8. I’ve been saying this about Sal for years: “The only people who can be wrong 85% of the time and keep their jobs? Weathermen and Sal “Our Gal Sal” Palantonio”

    This is his schtick, make a bunch of wild predictions and then backpeddle until something actually happens and then take all of the credit for being a “genius”. What a waste of hair product this guy is. “Preeminite reporter” my butt, he is a hack and a joke. I instantly disregard anything that comes out of Sal’s mouth.

  9. Finally someone is exposing Sal Pal for the fraud he is.

    I’d like throw Sal Pal his sidekick Mikey Miss and his out of work sidekick Anthony Gargano off the Ben Franklin bridge headfirst.

  10. So… because the guy is working his way through the scenarios and perhaps, comes to a different conclusion he’s a fraud? What’s your beef with Sal? Ever since the special Olympics basketball game you and Igor went to, you’ve been pro Missanelli, did he buy you a fine IPA afterward and offer you a cigar? Point is, you get on these tantrums about certain media figures and they go on for fucking days and they are obviously motivated by you getting your white bread feelings hurt. At least Palantonio is presenting a scenario to discuss, albeit speculation, which, is much more entertaining then “here’s the latest on RADIO WARS”. Sports discussion, trade scenarios, free agent speculation is the crux of what’s fun about following our local teams nowadays cause they pretty much all suck. What’s the real story here Kyle? Did Sal refuse to join Liberty?

    1. Because Sal’s ostensibly a reporter and all he’s good for is vomiting overhyped nonsense under the guise that there’s anything to it. He’s a talking head stooge. Missanelli, say what you want about him, is very good at his job of being a sports talk radio host. Sal’s not. He’s awful at it and is treated like some deity because he’s on ESPN. I never met him, so it’s nothing personal, but, frankly, he sucks, and in this sports void I’m going to keep calling him on it.

      1. Holy Zucchini, I am agreeing with Kyle. What has the world come to? I still hate Jim though, haha Igor, that was great!

    2. MM Sal pal is presenting BS. Kyle is right to question him on it. The ‘national guys’ get more stories wrong than right. Sal isn’t reporting, he’s making shit up.

      1. You know guys, off hand, you’re right can’t think of many times he’s been correct about things but, what I’m struggling with in this post is Kyle framing his remarks, as if, he’s claiming they are at all fact based. I’ve never taken him as seriously I guess, I appreciate the food for thought he provides.

        1. BTW – I guess we can all gather from this discussion that our minds are made up about Foles, he doesn’t fit regardless.

        2. I look to crossingbroad and deadspin as sites we need as sports fans to question the national and local sports coverage. Someone needs to call these guys on the carpet every now again.

      2. Excatly, otherwise he would be a lapdog like Miss Mikey who just slobbers all over Sal and his ESPN affiliation. Slobber, slobber, preeminent, slobber, ESPN, slobber.

        Typical MM/Sal exchange:

        Sal: “Well, I tell you Michael, I have the Eagles going 24 and oh next season with Chip Kelly running his offense in the highest level, that of the NATIONAL Football League.”

        MM: “But Sal, there are 16 regular season games and even if you add in the playoffs and the preseason you only…”

        Sal: “Michael, Michael, Michael, let me stop you right there. Do you think they let me on the air at the WORLDWIDE LEADER just because of my amazing hair? I mean my hair is amazing, but I think I know a little more about football than you. Plus, I was in the Navy. I mean c’mon, Guido Palantonio didn’t raise a fool Michael…”

        MM: “You’re right Sal. …So 24-0 you say?”

  11. Ever notice how Sal never shuts up and keeps running his mouth about some joke or comment he just made while the host repeatedly tries to interrupt so he could actually ask a question?!

    EXAMPLE:
    Sal: “Chip Kelly is going to run this team like he was Winston Churchill in World War 2!”
    Mikey Miss: “Haha, so Sal……”
    Sal: “Did you hear that Mike, I went WW2 knowledge on you and threw out Winston Churchill!”
    MM: “Yeah that was good, what do you think about….”
    Sal: “Chip and Winston Churchill were cut from the same cloth…bahahaha…!!!”

  12. Some Funny Thoughts on 97.5 –

    Sal Pal: He is MR HYPE, loves hearing himself speak with whatever is willing to stick on the wall. Remember when he was saying how the Eagles were set to get Gus Bradley? (Queue: “… has sent shockwaves through this building” sound-drop). Or how about when Big Red returned to town and after beating the Eagles, Mr Hot Shot SAL desperately tried to get an interview after the game, chasing the fat man down the field but got BIG TIMED? That was a great moment.

    Mike Miss: How about the other day when he was telling Martyteus that he went and saw Chris Rock’s Top 5 Movie, again catering to what he calls his “Brothers”? To top it off, he mentions a scene where Rock is in jail and hears a raspy voice in the next cell and it happens to be… DMX! Yup, Mike Miss knows who DMX is. Not only that, but he loves how brothers laugh at like every joke in the movie like it’s the funniest thing ever… but Mike Miss gets the jokes. He’s down with the brother community. He laughs at the expense of white folks. He knows DMX. His kid is so lucky to hang out with such a cool dad who transcends race and even age, as you can see by his choice of music. Loves Phantogram. Oh and he’s got the new Kevin Durant sneaks. So trendy.

    1. Spot on! I heard him talking about that movie and thought the same thing. All the white people in the theater didn’t get the jokes, but he did. Yeah, sure buddy. And he just love that “alt” music. You know, Mike, real fans of alternative music don’t call it “alt.”

  13. “Mike,mike mike… so as I was walking down the sidelines to interview Coach Chuck Pagano ahead of the kick-off of last Saturday’s premier AFC playoff matchup on ESPN, the leader in sports entertainment, who might I say had a great interlude to the late Stu Scott, he told me there was a wrinkle in the casms of Ensigliore Papadamo telling us that I might have scooped something that is over my armani suit tailored by the beautiful folks at Boyds on 18th and Chestnut and over everyone’s heads. I’ll talk to you next week after we see Dallas walloped by dare I say, Drew Staton and those fiesty birds!”

  14. Yes because teams who don’t “need” a QB never ever draft a first round QB.

    (rolling on the floor laughing so hard I sharted)

  15. 5th best offense in the NFL with Mark Sanchez at QB half the season. Most points scored in Eagles HISTORY.

    This Marcus Mariota and Desean Jackson guys must be the best secondary players on the planet.

    Mariota wishers need to realize the Eagles would probably win 6 games with him next year (as most rookies do). And on top of that, you are trading away the picks you could use to replace Riley Cooper, Lesean McCoy (he’s getting old), Jason Peters (he is old), Trent Cole (he’s gone), and fix our secondary.

    1. Buddy chilll. It won’t happen. It can’t happen. This is all bullshit. there is no way in hell Mariota gets passed over by 19 teams because “they don’t need a QB right now”. That’s laughable

    2. I disagree with you about McCoy getting old,he’ll only be 27 and even behind a makeshift line with guys banged up all year he still managed to rush for more than 1300yds.

      1. He’s getting old. It’d be good to have a backup plan before he is old. Think about the shelf life of the average NFL RB. He might have 1-2 productive years left in him. Also left out of replacing people due to age: Herremans.

    3. Cole will restructure his contract and platoon with Graham again. Shady is only 26 and will turn 27 next year…in his fucking prime. Riley Cooper will slide down the depth chart when they sign a FA WR. Perhaps Vincent Jackson.

      It’s not that unheard of.

  16. No team is drafting Mariota over Jameis Winston. All these mock drafts are dog-shit. The same way evvvvvvvvvery.fucking.mock draft had Teddy Bridgewater going #1 until around March last year. Winston is like a more athletic Ben Roethlisberger, and Mariota is a Colin Kaepernick with a weaker arm.

  17. Make up your mind Sal.

    I say fucking go for it Chip. Sign Byron Maxwell. Take a run at Revis. Sign either Raheem Moore or Devyn McCourty to replace Nate Allen, and let’s get the fuck after it!

    #Mariota15

    FACE

    1. Oh…the call of the delusional Eagles fan.

      We can sign all the free agents we need, and draft who we want because no other team in Football has the same ideas. McCoy is not old at 27. No, he won’t hit the wall like most RBs do after three or four years, not McCoy.

      And if we draft a Heismann Winning QB he won’t be a bust like about 90% of them, no, because Chip Kelly’s a genius. A genius with no playoff wins. A genius who never won the National Championship in college but a genius none-the-less.

      How did it work out when the Eagles went on a mad free agency spree? 8-8 followed by 4-12.

          1. I said “personally, I”.

            I am a bigger idiot then Mason. Mason said Buddy Ryan won a “bye”.

            2 lonely boys who spend way too much time pretending to know sports. Can’t wait for the Steelers game this weekend. I am unemployable.

      1. Look, I’d love for Nick Foles to be the guy, for them to draft a bunch of good defensive backs, sign one or two good free agents and make a run next year. That’s the best case scenario.

        My scenario would be great too. It’s an unlikely pipe dream, but who cares? What if the kid is the truth in our system?

  18. Brace may have been unseated as the dumbest man on the radio…MM sidekick must truly have rocks in his head. Sorry for digressing.

  19. Here’s my theory. Chip marries Marcus. The Eagles obtain the rights to Mariota through a little known NFL rule that state “if you are a coach and your wife is a football player, your team is entitled to first crack at his/her contract.”

  20. Listen dude, Sal Pal is cash money Skippy. He would come on my show and help me fill 15 minutes even if we didn’t pay him and get him a free Oldsmobile from FC Kerbeck. Sal and I also score young chicks with our hip and trendy repartee..or is it reportage? Anyway..we have General knowledge – which of course is Goodfellas, Senfield, Bruce, and don’t forget the WIRE! Man, I’m so happy to finally have zero competition after failing in NY and Philly trying to do morning radio.

  21. sal pal and jaws must be wearing holsters, how much do these clowns make?, wtf, “mikey, what i am hearing is”, i’m on the the edge of my seat, get the fuck outta here, how about jaws, “you know what i do? I watch tape”” grrrrrrrrrrrrr, , joe, joe dicamera, did i tell you what we do at nfl films?, we watch tape, get the fuck outta here…..thanks kyle, good post

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