Bruce Arians Takes a Swipe at Chip Kelly, Says His QBs Aren’t Real QBs

Photo Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports
Photo Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Well, that’s not a real hat, Bruce.

Though the Eagles aren’t (pointlessly) talking to the media at the combine, Arizona Cardinals coach Bruce Arians did, and he had some stuff to say about up-tempo offenses.

The question was posed to Arians — in regards to Marcus Mariota never running a “pro-style” offense — if pro vs. college offenses even matter at this point. His answer? Uh … yeah:

“So many times you’re evaluating a quarterback who has never called a play in a huddle, never used a snap count. You hold up a card on a sideline and he kicks his foot and throws the ball. That ain’t playing quarterback. There’s no leadership involved there. Now, there might be leadership on the bench, but when you get them now and you give them verbiage and they have to spit that verbiage out, use a snap count, change a snap count, they are light years behind. Light years behind.”

To be fair to Arians and his stupid hat [Editor’s note: and glasses], some of what he says makes sense. A lot of the playcalling and leadership does come from the sideline. There are no Peyton Mannings in these offenses. But also, “you hold up a card on a sideline and he kicks his foot and throws the ball”? That’s football. If you substitute “hold up a card” for “call in a play on the headset,” it’s the same thing. It’s just done faster and a little bit gimmicky, but it’s really not all that different. How often do quarterbacks come out of college with tons of experience using and changing the snap count anyway? These aren’t fully-formed game managers. What you need is a talented passer and a smart guy who you can mold into the best quarterback for your system. If anyone knows that, it should be the dude who started Ryan Lindley and Drew Stanton last year.

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25 Responses

  1. If Jim starts running at Broad and Cheltenham Ave with his mouth open, and closes his mouth at Broad and Pattison, how many gallons of cum will be in there?

    1. Same amount of cum that was in your mouth when you toured the gay bars in college. Sorry Bob, it’s not experimentation if you do it more than once.

    1. Eagles went 10-6. Not exactly a terrible record. And then Arians went ahead and lost in the first round to a sub-.500 team. He has no room to talk, nor do you, dickbag

      1. Except that the Chip’s lost to the Cardinals, the 49ers, the Cowboys, the Packers, etc. So that “6” in the 10-6 says “you can only beat the JV.” Can’t wait til he goes back to college.

        1. And the Eagles would have made the playoffs if they beat the Cardinals in that game. That ended up being the deciding game for the Eagles season.

        2. You forgot to include the Redskins in that list. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Go eagles!

    2. Yeah boy did that offensive genius Arians excel with the 24th ranked offense. In no way did the defense carry that team, it was the 3rd string QB for the last 3 games. Bruce knows offense guys. Forget the Eagles were 3th in the league with their backup QB for half the season. Chip dont know football because Bruce says so. Bruce is an offensive God. Except for the time his offense was fucking horrible.

  2. Where did Bruce mention Chip? And, you know more about NFL QBs than Arians?

    The guy was down to his number 3 QB and still made the playoffs. Then because of some BS NFL rule he had to go on the road.

  3. Jim, the hipster, making fun of Arians’ hat is hilarious. He must just constantly mock all of his hipster friends and their super cool ironic hats.

  4. “Dear Eagles Fans: Who fucking cares as long as I get as much of your fucking money as I can. The goal is not to win the Super Bowl, it’s to make $$$$. This is capitalist America. This is why I gave you a choking dog of a QB and Fat Ass worst game coach in the league and now give you this guy and his video game offense. So, keep coming down to the Linc and part with your money so I can pay Juuuuuuuuuuuuu Nephew Howie and our Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu GM and of course Head Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, me. Oh yeah, don’t worry about my fake beard slant eye wife–she’s tied up in the basement of the Linc. Thanks for everything sheep. Baaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”-Love Gay c-0c-ksucking Jeffy.

    1. These comments are classic. I especially enjoy when he mentions that if there was a coach named Hiram Silverstein, that he would hire him. Keep up the good work my man

  5. Bruce Arians record as a coach- 21-11, 1 playoff berth, 1 Coach of the Year Award
    Chip Kelly’s record as a coach- 20-12, 1 playoff berth, 1 NFC East Division title.

    Gotta give the edge to Buddy Ryan. The greatest coach of all time.

  6. Eagles the favorites to land CB Byron Maxwell, although they will probably overpay for him. I suspect they will cut Cary Williams while not re-signing Fletcher or Allen. Probably draft a Corner in round 2.

  7. If you stare at Arians second and third chins long enough, it starts to look like a half shaved nut sack.

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