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Just in case cheating your way to massive fame, leaving your wife for Sheryl Crow after she stuck by your side through ball cancer, then leaving Crow just before she was diagnosed with cancer, and lying to the American public and the world for more than a decade doesn’t make you a bad enough person, then perhaps forcing your girlfriend to take the fall for your DUI is just the sort of thing to push you over the edge.

From the AP:

Authorities say disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong hit two parked cars after a night of partying in Aspen but agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame to avoid national attention.

Police say they cited Armstrong after the Dec. 28 hit-and-run but only after his girlfriend, Anna Hansen, admitted to lying for him.

Police say Hansen told them she had been driving home from a party when she lost control of Armstrong’s SUV, hitting the cars. But Hansen eventually told officers Armstrong was driving, and they both decided to let her take the blame

What a guy.

Never been a Lance fan. I haven’t written enough about it here, but that guy reeked of phoniness long before it ever got out that he had more testosterone pumping through his veins than a high school kid granted exclusive, non-recvocable access to the girls locker room when he won all those Tour of the Frances or however the French what you to spell it. Hey, cool, everyone, look how good I am and please wear my silly, fad-happy yellow bracelet so perhaps you won’t notice that I am one of the most mean and calculating athletes in the history of ever. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t smash his girlfriend’s head into the steering wheel just to really “sell it.” Dick.