Meet Franklin, the Sixers’ Droopy-faced New Mascot Who Looks like a Distant Relative of Pennywise the Murderous Clown

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Some number of kids, who should probably be in school, turned out for the unveiling of Franklin, whose backstory is that he’s a dog that was present at famous Philly and Sixers events, such as the signing of the Declaration of Independence…

Looks like Franklin put his own JH on the DOI
Looks like Franklin put his own JH on the DOI

… Allen Iverson’s step-over…

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…. and so on.

For some inexplicable reason, Franklin has morphed from a normal-ish blue bulldog into a walking, dunking, human-sized ball of fuzz. [Stay off HGH, kids.]

The modern iteration of Franklin made his debut by rappelling from the ceiling whilst, thankfully for the kids in attendance, successfully avoiding his very own Blue Blazer moment:

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And then he danced and dunked because why not?


42 Responses

  1. G.O.B.: Franklin said some things Whitey wasn’t ready to hear.

    Michael: G.O.B., weren’t you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?

    G.O.B.: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn’t ready to hear either.

  2. Your Blue Blazer reference is completely tasteless and far too soon. You can expect to hear from my attorney.

  3. Love it and judging by the many negative comments from you inbreds leads me to believe that you peons are some of the most miserable human beings that have her existed and have little to nothing going on in your own personal lives so to build yourselves up you cretins tear everything else down.

    It’s really sad on you lifeless losers part when you think about it.

    1. also, any of y’all got some lube i could borrow?
      me & my partner are celebrating same sex marriage being allowed in alabama with shoving a huge dildo in my ass.
      roll tide!

  4. The Sixers should have hired our guy here Josh Innis as their mascot. His bouncing man tits would make any child laugh…or scream in terror. Plus his sidekick, Tony Bruno, looks like and acts like Bozo. Hey Bruno, is that the Sixers new mascot or your girlfriend? WOOF.

  5. In case you guys dont feel like reading about the Sixers new mascot, we have a fresh new topic of discussion on tap today. Which QB would you rather have Nick Foles or Marcus Mariotta? Mike Missanelli on now taking calls from you, the same 10 people that call in every day

  6. You guys are soooooo funny. Grow up jerks. To the fake Bob… Why don’t you shove a dildo up your own butt!!!

    That outa teach you a lesson.

  7. I know I’ve said this before but just because I made out with my friend Dan at summer camp one time doesn’t make me gay.

  8. If you don’t want to listen to Mike Missanelli today please tune into Innis and Bruno. They are talking to 85 year old guys who remember Ed Sabol. Oh yeah, they are also talking about the Rocky statue…tremendous radio from these 2 scholars. Bruno is also reminding people he is older than God himself talking about cassette tapes he has. I’m sure he also has old VCR tapes with video of his swinging friends. Oh, and their big guest today, Marcus Hayes. Good lord please.

    1. And don’t forget, I will be talking to the Grand Poobah on Thursday and doing Winners & Weasels on Friday.

    2. I remember the days of beta max and 8 track tapes. I have a recording of the Fog Bowl on VHS. Can’t talk now, it’s medication time at the nursing home.

  9. that they used that AB Logic “The Hitman” remix, cause this just looks like something during an All-Star Break in the early-mid 90s.

  10. How many children under 10 years old go to NBA games. The majority of the games are played on school nights. This isn’t like baseball where you have games during Summer and on Sunday afternoons. The Sixers could have created a clever, new mascot but they went with something that would have been kicked off Sesame Street.

  11. Not a worthy successor to me at all. Shoulda left well enough alone. I’ll see you at Eastertime!

  12. To some extent, and I’m not sure why, but that clown from “It” frightens me. Fuck you for putting his picture up when I thougt i was reading about the Sixers mascot. Unlikely that i will sleep this night. Thanks, bitches. The joke was on me.

  13. I could give a crap about mascots, but this is generic and uninspired. HipHop was better and at least nodded at our urban environment. This thing looks like Clifford and Barney’s love child. Bland, banal and suburban.

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