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Nate Allen is probably pretty annoyed. He was accused of exposing himself in Florida, and while we’ve all moved on, he wants to make sure everyone knows he didn’t do anything wrong. So today, he held a press conference and the State Attorney has declared Allen’s “complete innocence.” “After reviewing the case and the situation,” the State Attorney said, “Mr. Allen should be commended for his patience, cooperation and understanding.”

Allen’s family has also released a statement:

Through the false arrest of our son, brother, our friend, and our hometown hero we are motivated to bring the change that our local law enforcement so desperately needs. No other citizen should endure humiliation, capture, and false accusation. Today we stand before you calling on the leadership of our community to support us in our call for change.

We call on Police Chief Doug Baker and Captain James Mulligan to stand with us and ensure that what happened to Nate, never happens again in this great city. Gentlemen, stand up for the Civil Rights of your citizens and expose your police department to the same scrutiny to which you exposed Nate. Do not hide the unfortunate incident beneath the cover of an “internal affairs investigation”.

Nate Allen didn’t expose himself to a teenager, and just reminding you of that is what passes for news in this dead-season.