The Alarm in the Capitals’ Hotel Went off at 1:30 This Morning, and Apparently Hockey Players Sleep in the Buck

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The Washington Capitals, obviously in town to play the Flyers this afternoon, were awoken by a curiously-timed fire alarm at their hotel (Four Seasons or Ritz? I’m going Four Seasons) last night. Alex Ovechkin and Marcus Johansson posted videos on their respective Instagrams of players sitting outside their rooms in the hallway, apparently in various states of undress. Which is curious to me. I mean, sure, I do think people generally, on average, wear one less article of clothing when sleeping in a hotel, for several reasons:

1) Hotel rooms are generally warm with temperature controls that are pretty straightforward. There are few drafts. And there are usually made beds with with big, comfy blankets in which to snuggle.

2) They’re not your bed sheets, so any excretion – intentional or otherwise – is someone else’s job to clean up.

3) If you’re in a hotel, you’re typically in a given city or town for a reason, which means you spend more time out and less time, particularly in the evening, lounging around in a t-shirt, shorts or sweatpants– all clothes that you might wear to bed at home or a relative’s house.

But yeah, I’m still genuinely surprised that Alex Ovechkin sleeps in the nude. Have I spent too much time on this? Am I weird? I don’t think so. I’m not the weird one. YOU’RE WEIRD for not analyzing the many reasons why we walk around hotel rooms like indigenous creatures from a far-flung, undiscovered land, where testicular support  is merely a notion whispered about in hushed clicks and grunts in dark, secluded enclosures.

Videos after the jump.

H/T to (@SneZoc33)


41 Responses

      1. Bob are you the Bob from Glenmore who calls the Mikey Miss show?

  1. Some of the things you talk about on this site are really quite disconcerting.

    And Bob needs to be banned.

  2. Anybody who has backpacked through Europe and spent time in hostels knows that Central/Eastern Europeans and Russians don’t wear much to bed. Europeans in general are much more casual about nudity.

    1. People who aren’t easily amused by the sight of a 7 foot man jumping an inch off the ground to dunk a basketball.

    1. Where should they stay? Random people’s houses? wouldn’t you want your team to be as rested as possible

    2. They were supposed to stay at the Hub. But the clerk couldn’t figure out how to multiply the hourly rates into a nightly rate.

      1. Because they are major businesses and can afford it?

        I honestly hate people that whine about how much athletes make. They make what the market says they deserve. You, idiot, pay a ton of money for tickets and gear. You support their massive salaries. Stop. Complaining.

  3. Coming up on Monday on The Mike Missanelli show, we talk about Marcus Mariota.

    Should the Eagles trade up for him? What should they give up? Should they keep Foles? We’ll dive into this starting at 2pm after Skippy and Lippy.

  4. I remember that hotel. Bolaris and I got a room there after the channel 10 Christmas party back in ’93. I let him put it in my pooper that night.

  5. So I like to suck C0CK…. So what…. Being gay is as natural as apple pie. Leave me alone. Don’t knock it till you try it….C0CK tastes good.

  6. This Bob fellow is a crossingbroad thread killer. Kyle & Jim need to get on this growing problem

    1. Hey Bob, I don’t think this article about the caps fire alarm was really Guna be a huge comment attractor. Besides , the fake Bob is a million times better than you (real Bob). Unlike you, he’s very clever and witty. His jokes about you being gay are historical. And your responses just make you look even deuchier. But whatever you do don’t stop responding, I love seeing you get owned over and over. VIVA LA FAKE BOB!!!!

  7. It’s interesting that the fire alarm went off for no real reason when the visiting team is in town, until you turned it into gay erotica. You’re a nut gargling f/\g son, just admit it.

  8. You’re telling me there are people who actually snuggle with the never-washed always-shared hotel comforters? Wow is about all I can say to that.

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