Chip Kelly on Philosophy, Mariota, and World History

Chip Kelly spoke — quite saucily — to the media for over an hour this morning without saying hardly anything. But he did use the word “philosophically” about 1,000 times in trolling the gathered media talking about this coming draft:

“Philosophically, I want to keep all of our draft picks. I think you build your team through the draft. So if you gut yourself for one year and for one guy, philosophically, I don’t think that’s the right thing to do.”

And yet, Sal Pal, still in the process of slinging shit around the room like a drunken monkey who just ate some bad creme brulee, pressed on about Mariota. Here’s how the exchange went, according to Eliot Shorr-Parks:

Still, Kelly admitted that there were exceptions to every rule, which led to this back-and-forth with a reporter when he was asked if there was a price the head coach would pay for Mariota.

“What’s it cost?,” Kelly said. “Give me a number?”

“Two first-round picks,” the reporter replied.

“Where am I going?,” Kelly said, “From where to where?”

“To No. 6,” said the reporter.

“Never gets you there,” Kelly said. “It took two first round picks to go from No. 6 to No. 2 two years ago.”

As for if there was any price he would commit right now to paying for Mariota, Kelly offered up an unlikely scenario.

“If he goes to 12,” Kelly said, “and it is going to cost us a conditional seventh-round pick?”

Chip admitted, however, that even though he is philosophically against trading draft picks, there are always exceptions to philosophical thought, like that time in 1492 when… ah… just some guy sailed the ocean blue:

“People used to think the world was flat until that guy took a boat and didn’t fall off the earth.”

Close enough.


15 Responses

  1. don’t have twitter accounts! cataldi doesn’t even watch the games. sal pal makes up most of the stuff he reports. ray can only tell you what already (or is that all ready, let me check with mcnabb) happened. the “mainstream” media is a joke.

  2. Columbus did nothing to prove the world wasn’t flat. Magellan was the one who without a doubt proved the world was round by sailing around the globe.

    You know, just some guy…

  3. So Kelly is telling a reporter what every single person with common sense already knows.

    “Never gets you there,”

    The Eagles cannot get high enough in the first round to get this kid. End of story.

    The only possible way is a trade after the fact. Which won’t happen either.

    1. I dont believe Chip. He is getting Mariota. I have no way of backing up this theory but we need ratings so we, as a station, will continue to only talk about Mariota. By the way Chip is a dick bc he doesnt talk to the media. Whats that? He talked to the media today? Well hes a liar and still a dick. Fans should hate him

      1. I think you’re on the right track. As the hosts and the callers on 97.5 all know Chip is going to “get his guy” and he is going to “do the deal”. He just has to, getting “your guy” is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And Chip thinks outside the box. So just because mortgaging the future for one guy almost never works, so therefore a lot of people are reluctant to do it, Chip is a rebel and also a genius and he’ll make it work.

        Here’s how they do it:
        Trade 2016’s number 1st round pick, Bradford and Matthews to Cleveland for the number 12 and the number 19.
        Trade the 12, 19 and 20, plus 2017’s 1st and 2nd picks, Matt Barkley and Jason Kelce to the Rams for Nick Foles, that original 2nd round pick back and the 10.
        Take Foles, the 2nd round pick and the 10 and trade them to the Jets for the 6.
        Sign Tebow.
        Trade Tebow, 2018’s 1st round pick, the 6 and Michael Kendricks to the Titans for the 2.
        Trade the 2 plus Connor Barwin, Byron Maxwell and Mark Sanchez to the Bucs for the 1.
        Draft Jameis Winston.
        Trade Winston to the the Bucs for the 2 and the Bucs’ 2016 1st round pick.
        Pick Mariota at 2.

        It’s simple. I don’t know why people don’t see this is the plan all along.


        1. As Sal Pal said the day free agency opened. They have the #dothedeal shirts at 97.5 and now they can start with the #thedealisdone shirts!

  4. Chip will philosophically hold the Lombardi Trophy while Jeffy gives hims a reach around and Juuuuuuuuuuuu nephew fingers his ass.
    Fuck these clowns….

  5. Everyone knew the earth was round going all the way back to Copernicus. This notion that people believed the world was flat and you would fall off the edge was the fictional hogwash created by Washington Irving in his biography of Columbus: A History of the Life and Voyages of Christopher Columbus. You’d think a smart guy like Chip would know this.

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