Don Tollefson Seeks Leniency in Sentencing by Claiming His Mom Gave Him Enemas Every Day until He Was 16

Things got weird in Don Tollefson’s sentencing today. A courtroom source, as well as some reporters in attendance, say that a psychologist, testifying on behalf of Tollie in his request for leniency, insinuated that Tollefson was sexually abused by his mother, who gave him a daily enema from birth until the age of 16 and made him sleep in her bed when he was in college:

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Guess you can say Tollie is the real Enema of the State.

We’ll just step aside and make way for the comment section.

UPDATE: Tollie has been sentenced to 2-4 years in state prison, 15 years probation… and perhaps some flashbacks.


53 Responses

  1. I remember about 15 years a go, a friend said he met tollefson in a grocery store and he had an entire shopping cart full of supersized rolls of toilet paper, I guess everything comes full circle.

  2. It’s good you realize that the comments section is where most of the site’s creative writing occurs.

  3. I’m curious to see how Tolly links this to becoming a con artist…

    I can see it turning him into a drunk, but a con artist bilking people out of huge $$$ for “sports trips?”

    Nice try, Tolly. An uber-clean colon doesn’t excuse what you did.

    1. Dude that’s sick.

      Dads may like when you rub their feet and suck their toes, but you went too far.

  4. Even if this were true, how could he have the lack of respect for himself and/or his mom to publicize these shenanigans? Plus, he’s a freakin’ con artist, he made his living from being a professional fraud.






    1. Damn. Wasn’t even that great of a handle or comment but stealing my shit. I planned on posting my laughing comment once everyday until the NCAA Championship. You ruined it though.

      Laughing ends……

        1. The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?

  6. “We’ll just step aside and make way for the comment section.”

    You should do that for every post.

  7. How many lies does he have to tell until we believe one? Fuck that piece of shit!

  8. 16 years of enemas should have prepared him for 2-4 years of prison showers.

    1. Fuck you Tolly you piece of shit scumbag. Have fun getting pole slammed in the joint you fuckstick.

  9. I believe Tollie is full of shit. Err, was full of shit until the enima. He’s also a big liar.

  10. I guess Tollie’s mom didn’t like his dirt-hole rollin’ dirty when they cuddled up together!! I also think he kind of enjoyed snuggling up to his mom’s fun-bags. Who could really make a grown college man sleep between his momma’s meat-flaps if he really didn’t want to??????

  11. Don – Hi its Miss Robin, id love to have you on the Tony Bruno SHow with Josh Innes (Notice how I put Tony’s name first) so please hit me up on twitter.

    Miss Robin
    Producer for the Tony Bruno/Josh Innes Show – Wait, I’m not???

  12. There a dude lacrosse player who went to Carroll years ago into butt stuff. He and tolle should talk.

  13. The initial plea was for about 9 months. Now he is going to have to do double that. I don’t know what made Don think he could be his own lawyer and win the case. The deal was fair. How many cases have you ever heard where the outcome is going to be better if you don’t take the plea. It wasn’t a case where what he did was in question. He was trying to convince the Judge that he deserved no jail time.

  14. And when he turned seventeen, Tolly gave himself TWO enemas a day.

    He didn’t have many prom dates.

  15. That’s why the fuckin’ scumbag’s head always bobbed when he talked. Yes mommy, I’ll have another!

  16. This supports my position that he was Public Enema Number One.

  17. The judge should have let him go with no jail time. Once he sells his Jamie Moyer bobblehead and his Moses Malone figurine, he’ll be able to pay everybody back.

  18. and now that I’ve confirmed the main line clown can’t stop me, I’m here to say willllllbur.

    also, FFS you morons, I feel like I’m reading a 13-year-old girl’s spiral notebook. not exactly hard hitting journalism here. but I guess it’s the best you can do typing with one hand because the other is on each other’s limp coque.

    also who-r-esy vajayjee

    1. I’d say just skeet in my mouth, but, you know… you’re JIM. even I have standards.

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