Mets Name Bartolo Colon Opening Day Starter, Everyone Laughs

We’re getting closer and closer to the beginning of the baseball season, so teams are starting to officially name their Opening Day starters. New guy Max Scherzer will take the mound for the Nationals. Kyle Kendrick is starting for the Rockies. Cole Hamels will start for the Phillies (because there are no other options). And in Mets-land, where happiness is rare and hilarity is abundant, the nearly 42-year-old Bartolo Colon will begin the season. The tabloids, as you see above, had a field day with this, but somehow there are no fat jokes. So we’ll make one: Mound to Take the Mound. You guys can probably do better.


24 Responses

  1. this will be the last time for a while that Kyle is gonna be able to make fun of the mets. they are gonna be an 85+ win baseball team for a while meanwhile RAJ is still our GM!

  2. Kyle – How much do you make from Jim’s posts? You collect while he works hard.

  3. In case you haven’t noticed, the Phillies starting rotation (outside of Hamels) is horrendous right now. Colon would probably be the #2 in the current rotation, so laughing at the fact that he’s the Met’s Opening Day starter just shows how little you actually know. It’s not like Colon is the Met’s ONLY option. He’s most likely the #5, mayyybe 4, but their rotation has been riddled with injuries.

    Like Joe stated above, I don’t think we can look down and laugh at the Met’s any longer. They actually have some talent on the team, and young guys to build around moving forward. But I guess if your witty headlines make you sleep better, have at it.

    1. Ruben says that injuries are just part of the game. Look at our rotation: Lee, Halladay, Oswalt–all out with injuries. There’s no way you can plan for it.

  4. Once Cole Hamels is traded we might start opening day with a pitching machine.

  5. The Phillies should sign Kyle/Jim. They can pitch bullshit all day long without rotation.

  6. Explain to me how I am in a position to make fun of the Mets. Colon is still better than the other four pitchers in the Phils rotation. And he’s 65.

  7. Does Philadelphia even have a baseball team? Nothing like hiding your craptastic problems by creating stupid articles about your rivals.

  8. Ha Ha Ha!!!!!

    Yeah, he had a better ERA than any SP Phillie besides Cole Hamels last season.

    Hardy Har Har.

    epic fail.

  9. I hate the Mets as much as the next guy, but Colon hasn’t been bad for them. I get that he’s old and out of shape, but he was also a showcase trade piece last season. This could be the Mets front office trying to superficially increase his value early in the season to maybe pull a quick trade before age catches up to him.

  10. Phillies sux ruben is a tool and the phils should of won more than one world series than the one in 08

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