You Can Keep up with the Eagles’ Draft Picks on Your Apple Watch That You’re Not Going to Have in Time

eagles watch

I have to write this because all of Kyle’s blood rushed … somewhere: For nerds who moonlight as bros, there’s the Apple Watch. And for those people, a certain thrill will come from flipping their wrist over to check breaking news on their watch instead of reaching into their pockets like the rest of us. And one of the earliest chances they’ll get to do that in the NFL draft. The Eagles have developed an app for the Apple Watch that will be able to push-off breaking news alerts, roster information and draft picks from phone or tablet to watch.

It's not.

It’s not.

Kyle is already practicing his wrist motion … to get his breaking news the quickest.

Kyle: Screw off. Everyone said the same thing about the iPad when it first came out. Including my Mrs. CB– my then-girlfriend who was legitimately concerned when I cut short one of our first “overnight” dates to run to the door and claim my brand new iPad from the UPS lady on release day. Ohhh, it’s just a big iPod. It’s the same as the phone. What can you do on it that you can’t already do on your laptop? Now I can’t pry her iPad out of her hands in bed (cruel irony, I know).  Watch– you’re all gonna see one, you’re gonna want one, and in five years, you won’t be able to live without one. Book it. Game-changer. Long live Steve Jobs.

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  • kyles apple boner April 21, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    The difference between the watch and the iPad is that the apple watch is old overpriced technology

    • Kyle Scott April 21, 2015 at 3:41 pm

      The iPad was a $600 computer with the internals of a phone. Worked out pretty well.

      • kyles apple boner April 21, 2015 at 3:45 pm

        Smart watches that do more are already available for cheaper. An iPad has nowhere near the capabilities of an actual computer. Now if you actually give facts then maybe people would listen to you, but you obviously know nothing about technology.

      • Kyle's Keyboard Muscles April 21, 2015 at 3:48 pm

        You’re totally right about that Kyle. But the iPad (and other tablets) has been able to provide a replacement for laptops, which are more cumbersome than an iPad. The watch is different because you’re adding another thing people have to remember to use and take with them in the morning, and you want them to wear it all day too. I mean, it might be different if you didn’t have to pair the watch with your phone and it worked independently, but you still need the phone which makes the watch unnecessary.

        • Kyle's Keyboard Muscles April 21, 2015 at 3:49 pm

          Plus, people do still have to use regular computers for a lot of things.

        • kyles apple boner April 21, 2015 at 3:50 pm

          But tablets other then the surface can’t really replace your laptop. 96% of people that own a tablet also own a laptop so that’s also an extra thing to carry

          • Kyle's Keyboard Muscles April 21, 2015 at 3:54 pm

            Yea you’re right, I mean, a tablet can be a fun distraction and help you browse and check you email and the like. And if that’s all you use your laptop for then good for you and it’ll replace your laptop. But any kind of moderate computing requires more power and peripherals like a keyboard and mouse, which would defeat the purpose of the tablet. I doubt Kyle and Jim routinely write their articles on an iPad.

      • Bro April 21, 2015 at 4:16 pm

        Dickheads wear white watches.

        • Daniel Bryan April 21, 2015 at 9:25 pm


      • kyles apple boner April 21, 2015 at 4:26 pm
        Apple needed its own category to even be mentioned because the Ipad is a terrible tablet

  • MattFromPhilly April 21, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    I’d be more willing to think about the apple watch if it were ANYWHERE NEAR affordable. It’s a great idea…but it’s a shitty price.

    • FACE April 21, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      Agreed. Too expensive. The price will drop in time though. The biggest issue I have with ANY new technology, is the inevitable bugs/glitches…

      Never buy the shit the day it comes out. Wait a month or so, then revisit.

  • Kyle's Keyboard Muscles April 21, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Tell that to Samsung. They had this watch idea first and released it first. Know anyone who has one? No? I didn’t think so. This is a stupid concept because no one wears watches anymore, smart phones helped kill them. I’ll grant you that people wear fitbits and whatnot but those are usually pretty small and less intrusive than an actual watch.

    • kyles apple boner April 21, 2015 at 3:46 pm

      And samsung’s smart watches are better quality for cheaper

      • Kyle's Keyboard Muscles April 21, 2015 at 3:50 pm

        This is also very true.

      • Kyle Scott April 21, 2015 at 4:14 pm

        The Watch doing less than others is just completely wrong. Just because Samsung threw battery-killing Wifi and other gimmicky capabilities into their watch (like they do with their phones) doesn’t mean it does more, at least not in any meaningful way. They’re cheaper because they’re filled with a bunch of half-baked technologies in a cheaper shell, are much larger and borderline bulbous, and with bands that would never even come close to doubling as a fashion item, which ultimately is what something is if you wear it. The software isn’t even remotely as well-thought-out and comprehensive as what Apple is shipping. And though far from perfect, all reviews said, I believe unanimously, that the Apple Watch was without question the best smartwatch on the market. And then there are the actual watch people who are raving about the quality of the bands:

        • kyles apple boner April 21, 2015 at 4:21 pm

          Wifi does not kill the battery like 4g does. The Apple watch does not wirelessly charge. And who needs thought out software when you can change it how you would want to. It’s called open source in case you didn’t know. Anyway there isn’t much use arguing over an Apple fanboy because they are clueless and know nothing about technology.

        • Kyle's Keyboard Muscles April 21, 2015 at 4:50 pm

          For me, its not really Apple v. Samsung or whichever other company wants to release these watches. (Full disclousure, I had a GS3 until I got an iPhone 6 in February) Personally, I think the entire watch concept is stupid and unnecessary. Especially when it requires pairing with the smartphone I already have in my pocket and can very easily use whenever I want.

        • StraightSherman April 21, 2015 at 7:33 pm

          Wow… Apple could come out with a fucking IToaster for $300 and people like you would swear nobody had ever built a bread burning device as well thought out and comprehensive as this one. Be honest do you ever even consider another companies product? What is the point of this thing? Really, I’ve never thought “Wow taking this phone out of my pocket is such a drag.” This thing is no IPad, it will be more like Apple TV. As in mainly owned by hardcore Appleites who stopped reading this after the first sentence and instead are trying to find where to pre-order the aforementioned IToaster.

          • kyles apple boner April 21, 2015 at 7:53 pm

            Exactly there are way better products of just about everything Apple makes but people are too narrow minded to realize it

          • step 3: make her open the box April 22, 2015 at 8:31 am

            ^ lol, IToaster. Spot on.

  • ... April 21, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    A tacky digital watch on steroids.

  • Steve April 21, 2015 at 6:27 pm

    What the fuck is “pertitent?”

    • Massimo is a Hom0 Name April 21, 2015 at 10:51 pm

      You must be new around here. Misspellings and typos are a way of life around these parts…

      Kyle: I thought you were g@y before, but now you are level 1000 ultra g@y. Try to grow a pair and get off of the kiddie electronics. Jesus man, the only ones who buy crApple products are effeminate hipsters (i.e. Jim, if you paid him more than a pittance) and teenage girls. #NoRespect

  • Innes Can't Screw Worth a Damn April 21, 2015 at 9:52 pm

    This product has no appeal to me whatsoever. I’m sure Apple will sell a ton, because that’s what they do, but I think the entire thing is dorky and tacky.

    An adult wears a watch. A little kid wears a gadget.

  • petes tax April 22, 2015 at 3:07 am

    Cause a smart phone is such a hassle to carry with you into an Eagles game. The fuck is wrong with people?

  • Dildobaggins April 22, 2015 at 7:49 am

    The only people who buy Apple products are hipsters and democrats…which one are you Kyle

  • macjacmccoy April 22, 2015 at 9:25 am

    Be honest people loved the iPad when it came out. Your wife doesn’t equal public opinion. Also be honest the iPad sucked when it first came out. Touch screen reaction and processing power was garbage. Didn’t really become a good product until cycle 3. And was still a ripoff until it was on the market for a few years and cost only a couple 100. Just because fan boys, hipsters, and know nothings were willing to pay 700 bucks for something doesn’t make it a good product.

    • macjacmccoy April 22, 2015 at 9:27 am

      Especially when HP came out with a better model 3 years before Steve Jobs “invented” it.


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