“Now batting for the Phillies, second baseman… someone other than Chase Utley”

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– cues Kashmir, cries –

Todd Zolecki:

Chase Utley is on the bench. He is hitting .103 this season and .215 with a .610 OPS in 555 plate appearances since May 29, 2014. Let’s see what Sandberg says in the dugout, but if I’m the manager I tell Utley to take a seat tonight and tomorrow night. There is an off day Thursday, so Utley could have three consecutive days to relax and clear his head. Jeff Francoeur said a weekend off benefited him Monday, when he went 4-for-5.

We’ve now reached the this worked for Francoeur so maybe it’ll work for Utley era of Phillies baseball. Excuse me while I lock myself in a room and watch Chase’s WFC speech on a constant, sad loop.

Fun fact: That lineup image came from the Phillies’ private media Twitter account (@PhilsMediaInfo), which has to be the most asinine thing in existence. Like, they posted the lineup to media members exclusively, and not to fans, in 2015. Amazeballs.

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I’d suggest going ahead and requesting to follow it just to fuck with them. I do it a couple of times each season (always denied), and it’s become sort of a pastime of mine, in the absence of having a real baseball team to root for.

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7 Responses

  1. Here’s a novel idea, how about you stop trolling the Phillies Twitter and use that time to create some original content? Maybe if you start respecting yourself and act like a real journalist people would take you more seriously. Maybe then you would be given access to the media credentials that you so desperately crave.

    1. The Phillies’ Twitter sucks ass and deserves to be trolled, as does the entire organization right now.

  2. id be fine with benching chase for A little while. But to bench him for Cesar fucking double A Hernandez is hilarious. Cesar is fucking terrible. He shouldnt even start for the riverSharks

    1. Shut the fuck up Mr. White Protectionism we all know the only reason you’re defending that washed up has been is because he’s white(just saying).

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