The Patriots’ Excuse for “Deflator” Name Is Breathtaking

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The Patriots have issued a painfully long rebuttal to the Wells Report that no one is going to read at WellsReportContext.Geocities.Episode1Trailers.com. On that page, whose URL I may have exaggerated, they explained why one of the ball boys referred to himself as the “deflator.” Turns out he was just fat:

Mr. Jastremski would sometimes work out and bulk up — he is a slender guy and his goal was to get to 200 pounds. Mr. McNally is a big fellow and had the opposite goal: to lose weight. “Deflate” was a term they used to refer to losing weight. One can specifically see this use of the term in a Nov. 30, 2014 text from Mr. McNally to Mr. Jastremski: “deflate and give somebody that jacket.” (p. 87). This banter, and Mr. McNally’s goal of losing weight, meant Mr. McNally was the “deflator.” There was nothing complicated or sinister about it. If there was any doubt about the jocular nature of the May 9, 2014 texts, a review of all the texts between these two men that day would dispel it:

And here’s that exchange, which is also amazing:

12:21:46: JM “Whats up dorito dink”
12:22:53: JJ “Nada”
12:22:53: JM “Whens the pong party….im on fire”
12:23:10: JJ “Omg”
12:23:34: JM “Bring it”
16:29:48: JM “You still with your women”
16:29:59: JJ “Yup”
16:33:21: JM “You must have her [omitted out of respect to Mrs. Jastremski]”
16:34:39: JM “You must have a picture of her [omitted out of respect to Mrs. Jastremski]”
16:36:31: JJ “Omg”
16:37:16: JM “You working”
16:37:53 JJ “Yup”
16:39:40 JM “Nice dude…jimmy needs some kicks….lets
make a deal…come on help the deflator”

[After Mr. Jastremski does not respond for several minutes, Mr. McNally sends a follow-up text.]

16:47:15 JM “Chill buddy im just f****n with you….im not going
to espn….yet”

POOR MRS. JASTREMSKI!

I hate just about everything to do with the New England Patriots, but I kinda respect their doubling-down on this at the expense of a couple of twits and one of their wife’s tw… ah, never mind. The fact that serious people are thoroughly analyzing the text exchanges between Frick and Frack is the gift that keeps on giving. Need a podcast with these guys.

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14 Responses

  1. I know there’s nothing going on today but the content on this site has really been awful today. Just boring.

    Honestly I’d rather read about your poop beards because at least that opens the floor for mean-spirited comments which is really the main reason I check this site out.

  2. WOW! I read this on Deadspin. it really is amazing to hit deadspin first, then Crossingbroad a little later and read the EXACT same content. Not only do the block quotes take up 90% of your “article” you steal your work from other websites. this is incredible

      1. People make this stupid argument at least once a week. The only story ever broke on here was the Riley Cooper video. If you’re looking for breaking news then this isn’t the place for you. Stay on deadspin and remove the sand fromw your vagina you whiny bitch.

    1. Sorry Kyle, this dude is actually 100% accurate on this post. Take it like a man or at least provide a rebuttal that disproves exactly what his comment says. We’re waiting…..

  3. JM is a real POS judging by the texts he sends. You tell the other guy doesn’t like him. Tool.

  4. Why not just ignore the mountain of real evidence by the Patriots shredding the league’s sham “investigation”. Oh, you just did.

  5. AJ FEELEY SAID HE SAW BRADY DEFLATING THE FOOTBALLS IN THE SUPER BOWL. THE NFL SHOULD MAKE THE PATRIOTS QUIT THEIR CHAMPIONSHIP AND GIVE IT TO THE EAGLES. HOW AWESOME WOULD IT BE IF THEY HAD A PARADE FOR THE EAGLES ALL THESE YEARS LATER. I WOULD GO!

    1. TURN ME OFF IDIOT. GREAT SPORTS TAKE THOUGH. I THINK MAYBE 3 PEOPLE WILL AGREE WITH YOU, KEEP AT IT BRO.

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