The Sports Illustrated Cover Is Here to Punch You Squarely in the Gonads

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It’s during times like these that I remind myself that Sam Bradford will be our starting quarterback next season.


20 Responses

    1. It’s done! Your plate is on the table and I cut the meat into little pieces the way you like it. Make sure you clean your plate as Mommy has to go out and work the corner. PS, I left some crack on the table for you. Love you long time!, Mom

  1. Important to remember that Bradford was more of a sure thing QB than Mariota when he was the first pick. So, 1) Bradford might not be an unmitigated disaster, and 2) Mariota might not be the second coming.

    1. Spoken like a true Chip Kelly lapdog.Bottom line is that the Sam Bradford you’re thinking of was from 5 years ago,not the current broken down injury prone Sam Bradford who can’t simultaneously walk and chew bubble gum without tearing up his brittle knees for a third time and is more fragile than fine China.I’ll take Mariota over Sam Bradford any day of the week.

      1. Actually, my point was more about Mariota not being a surer thing than Bradford. Giving up what would have been necessary to get him would have been irresponsible for a lot of reasons. And I’m not the Chip apologist business. That’s a fact.

  2. Yes Kyle, we drafted talented players at positions we needed (except OL) instead of trading all that away plus established stars on the team for an unproven rookie QB. That feels like a punch in the dick.

    Just stop it already, we were never getting Mariota in the first place.

  3. get over Mariota, you fuck.

    Also, does this SI issue mention anything on the Roast?

  4. Exactly, this time next year the same people bitchin about mariota not being here will be the same ones suckin bradfords balls

  5. Click Click Click

    Generating those page views…..

    He was never coming here so please explain to me how this is a punch in the gonads to Eagles fans like myself?

  6. I’d really like to know how much actual time you have spent watching mariota play, absent any bowl games.

  7. There is still a chance. Eytan Shander spelled it out yesterday. I am going to refuse to play for the Titans and re-enter the draft newxt year. The Eagles, since I’m not there, will be a 6-10. And Chip can finally fulfill our shared destiny and draft me. The dream is not dead.Listen to Mayes and Shander.

  8. While Philly is butthurt, let’s consider what this island boy is stepping into. He is going to Trashville, the pimple on the asshole of this planet. They will put a cowboy hat and boots on him and parade him about. His team sucks and will continue to be second class to that shit-show, the Tn Vols. He is screwed

    1. Right. And in Philadelphia I’d have been welcomed with open arms because of all the media hype and that I’m “Chip’s Guy” and that I’m not Donovan McNabb who was the only franchise QB this team has really had and you all despise him. And then when I’d fail to win a Super Bowl in my first five seasons because Chip Kelly traded half the defense and the next four first round draft picks along with 2016 second round pick that he used to get Bradford, everyone in Philly would say how much I suck, and what I bust I am, and would boo me every time I walked out on the field. And when Chip got sick of the NFL and runs back to college and the Eagles trade me because I’m a system QB and the architect of the system is gone you will all kick me in the ass on my way out the door and go on for weeks and months at a time about how I was the worst move the franchise ever made and that just seeing my smiling face on TV with my new team would make you all vomit in anger at the memory of the franchise being gutted and set back ten years because they had to get my “over-rated, worthless ass.”

      No thanks. I’ll take Nashville.

      1. Rednecks like Trashville. By the way, that was a bit long-winded, bro. The wind blows, and so do you.

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