Recently, a report came out that men’s beards are just riddled with particles of human poo. Here’s Kyle’s reaction to the news:
And here’s mine:
So what’s the deal? Are we both just walking around with the lower half-ish of our faces dripping with dook juice? Not quite. As the Guardian pointed out, “the “results” aren’t from an actual scientific study. Instead, a TV news anchor took a handful of swabs from random dudes’ beards and talked to a single microbiologist about what he cultured from them. And what they found was a gut bacteria. The Washington Post put it this way:
I have bad news for y’all: You’re covered in poo bacteria. COVERED. Look to your left, look to your right. There’s probably poo bacteria on both sides and also in front of you. It’s okay. It’s really fine. Embrace the poo bacteria, it is a part of you because you are a multitude of microorganisms, each more special than the last.
So yeah. There’s some poo bacteria in my beard. And in yours. And in your hair. And probably on your face. And definitely in your poo. We all know people who have certain habits and emit a certain scent and might have a little bit more fart force than the rest of us. And maybe those were the dudes they swabbed. I’m not worried about the amount of literal shit in my beard, but I’m also not gonna just let a guy with a mic and a camera shove a cotton swab all up in there.