Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for your father, maybe you can bring his boss, Frank Shirley, right into his living room and put a big ribbon over his head so your dad can tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.

But if you don’t want to be responsible for your family’s first kidnapping, here are a few other ideas:

 

Tickets

To what? Probably not the Phillies (though they’re very cheap). But over at Crossing Broad Tickets, in partnership with our friends from TiqIQ, we’ve rounded up the best deals on the secondary market for Eagles tickets, summer concert tickets, and tickets to just about everything else. Save yourself time shopping– search here. It’s like the Trivago of tickets. There are often much better deals than what you’ll find on StubHub.

 

Meet a great

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Joe Montana, Allen Iverson and Brad Lidge will be signing autographs at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall tomorrow. Tickets still available. Take dad out for an early gift… and then buy him a smoothie or some Chick-fil-A, you classy guy.

 

Golf gear

Your dad probably isn’t as good at golf as he thinks he is. But he can still look respectable as he digs his ball out of… um… whatever that sludge is off the second green at Limekiln. And after watching the US Open this weekend at what looks to be the strangest golf course in the country, Chambers Bay, he’ll probably be jonesing to hit the links next week. The folks at Golfsmith – who have assembled a great Father’s Day collection – put together this little infographic about the tournament– poor Lefty, nowhere to be found on here [click to enlarge]:

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Now that you’re done reading it, go check out that Father’s Day collection. And yep, you can pick up a bunch of stuff in-store.

 

New Sixers jersey

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Available for sale. Won’t ship until after Father’s Day, but that’s fine, because the Sixers won’t be good until you make him a grandfather.

 

T-shirt

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These babies are going to have a limited shelf life (I’m not above tacking a D on the end of Phire, though). Get one. Philly Phaithful’s also got a great new Philadelphia Experience collection.

 

Amazon

Honestly, I don’t care if you buy your dad anything. But you’ll probably get something at Amazon over the next couple of weeks. So just click this link and don’t clear your cookies after your next questionable surfing sesh and I’ll get a small kickback for referring the sale. Please and thanks.

 

Full disclosure: Most of these are sponsors or affiliate links.