Hank Baskett Goes With Transgender Weed Dealer Defense

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Back in 2014, former Eagle (and then reality-star) Hank Baskett made headlines when his Playmate wife dumped him after a reported affair with a transgender model. Hank has finally broken his silence on the matter, and the story he tells sounds like one he made up on the spot but decided to stick with after a year. Seriously, if this story is true, it’s among the most insane things to ever happen to anyone, anywhere. But he sounds like a teenager who just got caught with beer for the first time and he’s trying to explain it away.

Here’s Hank Baskett, telling People Magazine about the tale of the weed-dealing transgender fondler:

Last April, Baskett says he encountered a couple in a grocery store parking lot smoking marijuana. The former football player, 32, says he approached the couple to buy some pot; they gave him a phone number to call and, when he did, he was provided an address. Once he showed up at the home, Baskett says he used the restroom and when he emerged, “I saw something I thought I would never see in my life.”

Baskett says the person who answered the door, a transgender woman, was nude and making out with another transgender woman. “I froze,” says Baskett, visibly shaking as he recalls the memory. Then, the woman who answered the door approached Baskett and fondled him through his basketball shorts.

“I didn’t engage in anything,” he says. “It was like a bank robbery. You never know when you’ll freeze. I don’t know if it was a couple of seconds or 15 seconds, because all I was saying was get out, get out, get out.”

Seriously. This story has a “there was an icicle … and it fell … and it hit me” level of panic to it. You’re a millionaire. You live in LA. I’m sure you know how to get weed. What the hell, dude? Did he just watch a Risky Business/40-Year-Old Virgin double-feature before coming up with (or … experiencing) this? The world is a very, very strange place, but is it really secret-transgender-phone-weed service-that-comes-with-a-side-of-fondling weird?

via CSN, h/t @sircwn

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12 Responses

  1. Mitchie Tools: …. If they sign Jimmy Butler, they could be good next year. They could make the playoffs! Maybe they could get Aldridge.
    Mike Miss: No, bro.
    MT: Well I think they can.
    MM: Ok, bro. So, bro. Do you want a general knowledge question, bro?
    MT: Yea, OK.
    MM: Alright, bro. This comes from the general knowledge category, bro. Bro, what country borders America to the north?
    MT: Ahhhhhhhhhh.
    MM: Yea, bro! What country borders America to the north?
    MT: (pauses) Can you give me a hint?
    MM: No, bro.
    MT: Come on! Well, is it Toronto?
    MM: Bro.
    Martinez: Unbelievable.
    MM: Come on, bro. It’s Canada. The country is Canada. Bro, Toronto is a city in Canada.
    Martinez: Yeah, it’s the capital.
    MM: No, bro. That’s Ottawa.
    Martinez: You sure?
    MM: Yeah, bro. My favorite band, Mean Red Spiders, is from there. I’ve been to one of their shows, bro.
    Martinez: Nice!
    MM: So bro, Canada borders the United States.
    Martinez: Yes it does.
    MM: You know that one Martinez?
    Martinez: Of course!
    MM: Gus from Allentown, you’re on 97.5 The Fanatic. What’s up Gus?
    GfA: Hey what’s going on Mike, love the show. So I think the Phillies need to fire Ruben Amaro ….

    1. My sources are saying MM could make the move to tv and join CBS. With the recent firings and the new bosses working here they are looking for something new and fresh and MM would get a brand new show to host. Think of it as competition for Breakfast on Broad.

    2. I look forward to your posts every Wednesday. I realize how pathetic that is, but still so fucking funny.

      1. The only pathetic thing is the fact that this reads like a word for word transcipt of his show

        Makes me laugh everytime

  2. Jesus Hank that was all a huge lie. So Kendra dumped you for what reason? and let’s not forget the transgender “dealer” passed a lie detector test right after this happened.

  3. What a fucking joke. Hank’s trying to sell that WHOOOOOORE Kendra that he only got a handy from a tranny? He/she either gobbled his frog or he fucked it in the ass…..

  4. Thought he was going to blame the magic man long snapper for putting a spell on him

  5. My man, cmon with this story. You should have insisted on a prep session….

  6. One of many. They always have a story when their caught. His mouth was all over that fishing line and tackle.

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