Jonathan Papelbon Would Go Anywhere, As Long as It’s Not Philadelphia

Photo Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
Photo Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

When we first talked about it yesterday, Jonathan Papelbon’s 45-minute plea to be traded was pretty fresh, so all of the Papelbon-isms were still being transcribed. We know he said the Phillies need to shit or get off the pot, but he continued, talking about the changes the Phils have made in the front office:

The Phillies have got to make a decision. You got to go one way or the other. You can’t be in limbo … You gotta make a decision, and you gotta go with it. I know that we got a new interim president, we got a new interim manager, we got all this change supposedly happening, but I don’t see any of it yet.”

It’s hard to disagree with him when you read his words, but when you watch him saying those words while spinning in his chair like a petulant child, it suddenly becomes very easy. He also used this opportunity to remind other teams that when they get Jonathan Papelbon, they get a total headcase:

“I take a certain persona. I feel like that’s me and that’s who I am. Whether it’s an alter ego, or Cinco Ocho or Ric Flair, it is what it is. When I step on that line, I’m not Jonathan Papelbon. I’m a different person that goes out there and competes and will do anything to win.”

And where would he want to go instead? “I’d go to Toronto, the East Coast, West Coast the dirty South, I’ll do anything.”

It’s really easy to agree with what Papelbon is saying, but so very hard to agree with Papelbon as a person. It’s like getting lectured by your parents when you’re a teenager. You know they’re right, but they’re the last people you want to hear it from. I totally get what Papelbon is saying, but he just makes it so damn hard to agree.

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12 Responses

  1. put angelo on for a minute this morning & heard him say Susie celek is the sexiest women in America. wtf

  2. The last paragraph sums up the whole Pap era; he’s right, but he shouldn’t use the All Star game as a platform to gripe. After all, he chose to take the 4 year, $45 million contract, basically making himself untradeable.

  3. Listen up pal, I’ve spent more spilled liquor in a night in bars across this country than you’ve ever seen in your life! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Never compare yourself to the nature boi again or you’ll get knife edge chopped so hard, you’ll wake up pitching for the Montreal Expos in 1991! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  4. Like I said before, If Paps wants so badly out of here, give up the $13 million vesting option for next year, otherwise shut up. You signed this $50 million contract. No one feels sorry for you. Now live with it you pussy.

    1. Not only would that be ultra dumb of him, but it is also not allowed. The players union wouldn’t allow it, plain and simple.

      I do agree he should just shut the fuck up about it. He isn’t helping his trade value by showing how much of a dick he can be.

    1. yep – it would great if phils turned everything around and then dropped his ass. but that wont happen ever.

  5. Can he take Innes with him? Would that increase or decrease the value of the trade?

  6. He can fuck off and rot in the Phils bullpen for all I care. His contract is on our books, even with a trade we’re likely to pick up some of that tab at this point, right? So suck it A hole, enjoy your millions and take a seat next to Deakman for two more years.

  7. i hope he stays in a phillies uniform until he dies – and then gets buried in it just to piss of his family/boston fans. this guy is a great closer but he literally has no other qualities that make a decent human being – he is literally trailer trash.

  8. while I agree that Papelbon is a db, nothing he said wasn’t true. Who wants to stay on a team where you get maybe 1 save opp a week? Maybe he wants to be on a team where he feels that he is EARNING his money, and not just getting paid to sit next to Dieckman on the bullpen bench.
    btw, did it ever occur to anyone that maybe he was asked about the possibilities of his being traded before the deadline and he gave an honest answer? this is basically three trade deadlines in a row and he is still here?
    so though I really don’t like the guy, I really can’t blame him

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