This past week was San Fermin, the famous bull-running festival in Pamplona where crazy people run from bulls and hope not to get gored near their anuses. The bull-running portion of the festival was covered very well by the Men in Blazers on the Esquire Network – probably the first notable thing they network has done – but it was a low point for one local guy who failed to avoid getting gored near his anus.

According to NBC10 and the Associated Press (via NJ.com), a 34-year-old Philly man whose initials are J.N.O. (as in “Just Near …”) was gored and received injuries “to the back of his knee and near his anus.” Now, the goring might have been to the back of his knee and some other injury occurred near his anus, but for my money, getting gored in the back of the knee still counts as getting gored way too close to your anus.