Today In “Kyle’s Not Going In The Ocean This Summer”

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My dad took these pictures today of a Portuguese Man O’ War. In Ocean City. New Jersey. On the beach I go to. The beach I was at this weekend. The beach I’ll be at all next week. THE BEACH I WALKED ALONG WITH MY WIFE AND UNBORN CHILD ON SATURDAY EVENING. These fuckers are on to me. They’ve come for my family. They’ve found my area. This is my toe-dipping spot. I’m out. I’m done with the ocean. It’s dead to me. We’re retreating to the boardwalk. These things can’t jump… can they?


16 Responses

  1. I’m a actually enjoying the hyperbole with these posts. Unless, well, Kyle isn’t that afraid is he?

  2. You’re excited to be having a kid.

    People have kids every day, don’t get so excited.

    1. Hope he doesn’t turn into the cuz & rha-ha always talking about their kids. Yeah we get it lil ant sucks at t ball and Clarkie wants to be the next carrot top

  3. Ohh calm down you big sissy. A man of war is not even lethal.

    But you can drown from the cramping and paralysis.

    Loggerhead turtles eat man-o-wars. Just bring a loggerhead turtle with you into the ocean. Remember how cool Crush was in Finding Nemo.

  4. This Week on Why Kyle Scott is a Huge Pussy:

    These things don’t even ACTUALLY kill people. Potentially, maybe. But my dick could potentially kill someone so…

    But I bet if you add 5 more ads, another plug-in, and another set of questions that need to be answered to access the site they’ll go away.

  5. Kyle, honestly, it’s probably a good thing for your kid to get exposed to these things as early as possibe. Then maybe he/she won’t grow up to be a giant pussy like his/her father.

  6. actually i thought this was a washed up bag o wine, I mean look there’s even the blue spout

  7. Was your Dad the original pussy? That make’s you pussy junior and instead of Pussy III maybe you’ll have a girl and the house of pussy will die off.

  8. You thro’ a little broccli rab on dat, maybe a little gabbagool, some of the good sharp, and we’re talkin’ lunch, Bo.

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