Phillies

Vin Scully Describes the Misery of Watching the Phillies in One Eloquent Soliloquy

By Kyle Scott

Published: Jul 7th, 2015 · 8:47 AM EDT

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The Phillies lost a four-hour and 13-minute game to the Dodgers last night, 10-7, and after leaving starting pitcher Sean O’Sullivan out there to throw 123 pitches in what was then a 6-6 tie, the legally recognized business once considered a ball club outrighted their young-ish, half-assed starter to AAA. Thanks for the effort, son. Now, decide if you want to head to the minors of this bastard team or become a free agent.

All that, combined with a bottom of the sixth that featured some of the worst fundamental baseball you’ll ever see, took its toll on longtime baseball man Vin Scully, who had this to say about being forced to watch the Phils, alone, in a booth, with nothing but his soothing voice for comfort:

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“You wonder why a team is last, and then you watch them play. And it’s not the great, big egregious things, but the little things that happen throughout the game. Cesar Hernandez will be thinking about [that booted double play ball that extended the inning] all night, not to mention what it does to Pete Mackanin.”

“You know when you watch Philly, and it’s not really a knock – I mean these are young players and they’re gonna make a lot of mistakes – but you realize that Ryne Sandberg, who had such incredible talent, a hall of famer, it had to be so difficult for him to sit there watching these kids kick the ball around, thinking, why can’t they do what was so easy for me? It’s hard for a really great player to understand that. But Galvis and Hernandez are learning. But finally Sandberg said I can’t take this anymore, and he resigned.”

This was night one of a four-game series in LA. I imagine that by the end of the week, Scully will be openly proselytizing for euthanasia.

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Sullivan became the first Phillies pitcher to throw 123 pitches in 5.1 innings in OVER 100 YEARS:

Guess someone forgot to feed Mackaninininin the harvested brains he requires for sustenance.