CBP’s Pistachio Girl Needs Your Votes for Best Ballpark Vendor


Over at MLB.com’s Cut4, they’re holding a fan vote to see who is the top food/drink vendor in all of Major League Baseball. Fans will vote for the best candidate today and tomorrow, and each day’s winner will face off on Friday for the crown. In today’s vote, two Citizens Bank Park vendors are in the running: Beer Pirate and Pistachio Girl. We’re sorry to throw our support behind just one of them, but Beer Pirate is already out of it.

Pistachio Girl, if you don’t know, is suffering from a bit of an injustice:

Fans at Citizens Bank Park know Emily Youcis as “Pistachio Girl” or — informally — as “PISTAAAAAAAAACHIOOOOOOS!” The legend of “Pistachio Girl” has spawned a Facebook fan page and a bevy of YouTube highlight clips.

The irony of Youcis’ nickname is that Citizens Bank Park no longer sells pistachios, so Pistachio Girl has spent the 2015 season selling Cracker Jacks and lemon water ice [wood-er ahys]. But the people have spoken … and started a Change.org petition to bring pistachios back to the ballpark and restore Youcis’ claim to fame.

Pistachio Girl can’t even sell pistachios anymore, so we gotta make sure she trumps this lemonade nobody from Arizona. You can vote over here.

[h/t reader Kyle]

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  • How about August 5, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    That dude with dreads in the 140-145 section? He used to rake it in the good ole days.

  • Misogynelli August 5, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Cracker Jack Girl

  • Big Gay Al August 5, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    My vote is for Bob aka “Butt Pirate” aka “Dildo Man”

    • Bob August 5, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Thanks! My poll has risen considerably over the last few hours.

  • Joe August 5, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    Derrick Moore the Lemonade guy has been doing it for 30 years and is world renown, although not a Philly product. Here he is in 2012 at Chase field:

    • Bob August 5, 2015 at 6:20 pm

      He makes my loins quite moist.

      • Hollis August 6, 2015 at 6:38 am

        Hee Hee haha

  • Andy August 5, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    Pistachio Girl (at least, earlier this season) still sings the song of her people for a generous tip. Don’t even have to buy Cracker Jacks!

  • MLB.com August 5, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    The video you selected is not yet available. And when it is you will not be able to play it.

  • Mike Miss hates army vets August 5, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    Fuck this Pistachio girl . She’s so 2009

  • Dread Guy is a Thief August 5, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Dread Dude routinely tries to keep the extra change (quarters) on the the buck or two you tip him. Does an extra slow reach into his bib to hand the change and figures people will forget about it. Scumbag dickbreath.

  • One thing you can't get at the Park is a real soft pretzel August 5, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    They sell some piece of crap named The S U P E R pretzel. There is nothing s u p e r about it. They used to sell pretzels from a well known local company. Thanks to the conglomerate that runs the concessions they were forced out. I think we all know how that company gets it’s tentacles into just about every venue that offers food.

  • The Cuz August 5, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    I like licking her pistachio nut

    • Phoney Cuz August 5, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      I hear she has no hair on her pussy! I call that a BALDY!! Heeheee haaa haaa yuuk yuuuk yuuuk you know what I mean brotha!? Preciate Bo!

  • thrillhouse August 5, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    Funny, you can only vote one time for this stupid meaningless contest, but fans can keep voting over and over for the same crappy player in the all-star game that determines home field in the world series.

  • Bill August 5, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    Best guy in the place is the beer man in the 110s who screams “Ice Cold Stelllllaaaaa!”.

  • Mike Missanelli's Sick Obsession with Riley Cooper August 5, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    I would love to eat Pistachio Girl’s pussy. Wonder if she shaves

    • Big fan of Evil Andy Schreiber August 5, 2015 at 10:14 pm

      Nothing on the Nor’easter?

    • Huge fan of 97.5 talking nonstop is chip Kelly a racist all week August 5, 2015 at 10:28 pm

      No doubt she’s hairy & smelly down there

  • NickG August 5, 2015 at 10:13 pm


  • Bobs Cuckhold August 5, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    Over/under 1.5 yrs before this blog goes out of business?

    • Rob E. August 5, 2015 at 10:54 pm

      Fire Jim: over

      Keep Jim: under

    • Bob August 6, 2015 at 9:13 am

      As long as the sponsors continue to be impressed by hit rates of my endless postings of how much I love C0CK it should do well!

  • Jillian Mele's Bleached Asshole August 5, 2015 at 10:30 pm

    Any pussy still go to Phils games

    • Jillian Mole's Tit Freckles August 6, 2015 at 8:49 am

      Yeah, but it’s all on the field.

  • Bob August 5, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    Totes have a whole finger up my urethra right now 🙂

  • Fake Bobs > Real Bobs August 5, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    Anything on Nick Williams going ape shit tonight?

  • Marcus Vik August 6, 2015 at 11:17 am

    Dopes censored “j-a-c-k-a-s-s” but allow all the other words you see above? Unreal!

  • johnmatrix August 6, 2015 at 12:34 pm

    id love to sniff her feet after a long night at the ball park!

  • Dave December 5, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    Way to support a white supremacist you dick

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