The Eagles delivered a dominating beat down of Green Bay at Lambeau Field, where the Packers are nearly invincible. Sure it’s the preseason and it doesn’t mean anything, but it doesn’t mean nothing either. With two minutes left in the first quarter, the Eagles had scored 25 unanswered points and were on a pace to win 125-0. The Green Bay announcers were stunned. Just before half, one said:
“I can’t remember any team coming in here [to Lambeau Field] and scoring 40 points in the first half. And the starters are still in on defense.”
The tempo offense may give the Eagles an outsized advantage in the preseason when most teams don’t game plan, but the football world is waking up to the fact that Chip Kelly has a real plan behind all of his crazy personnel moves. And that plan just might work, better than anyone imagined.
After the jump, 7 surprises from today’s game.
1. Sam Bradford is better than anyone thought (except maybe Chip)
Every observer seemed to think that Chip was crazy trading Nick Foles for Sam Bradford, and throwing in a draft pick or two. Tonight, no one thinks that. Bradford was 10 for 10, for 121 yards and 3 TDs — just in the first quarter. Then he sat down, triumphant and uninjured.
He was precise, calm under pressure, good at taking hits and getting back up, and hit receivers in stride time after time. He wasn’t perfect, but he was awfully close — a QB rating of 156.7, compared to a perfect score of 158.3. (Joseph Randle would call those 1.6 QB rating points “a lot of meat left on the bone.”)
2. The rest of the QBs are worse than anyone thought.
The drop-off to Sanchez was sharp. He moved the team fine and hit some good passes, but he continues to toss throws that open WRs can’t catch, and to not see wide open receivers (such as Agholor wide open over the middle on a play where Sanchez was sacked). He didn’t show any special ability to run or evade the rush, either.
Barkley and Tebow were even worse. As Tebow was fumbling handoffs and getting stuffed, a Packers fan was overheard on their broadcast yelling “We love us some Tebow! TEBOW TIME!!!” His failure on the extra point attempts should squash any hope Chip had of keeping him as a gadget QB for wildcat-type plays.
Neither 3rd stringer really showed anything that would justify a roster spot. At this point, the Birds might be better going with two QBs to keep more skill players. Trey Burton, a special teams ace last year, is going to be active on game days already, and played well at tight end tonight. He was a decent quarterback at Florida and looks like a better third option than either 3rd string QB.
3. No Kiko
After saying all week that he was excited to play today, Kiko Alonso did not even suit up for the game. After the game Chip said he had “a little nagging leg injury” which “wasn’t a big concern.”
Josh Huff didn’t play either, but that was predictable given that he missed the last two practices after the death of his god-brother last week.
4. Kip Smith was the kicker
At first it seemed like the return of Big Balls Chip when the Eagles went for 2 point conversions after the first two touchdowns, with Tim Tebow at QB. (He was stuffed at the goal line on a run, then nearly intercepted under pressure.)
When Kip Smith came in for the kickoffs and a third XP attempt, though, it was obvious that Cody Parkey was not going to play. The team had said nothing about it in advance. Could they have been giving Smith a last chance to make the team? Probably not after his super ugly knuckleball kicks in game 2. And if that was the case, then the Eagles would have tried a field goal instead of kicking a short punt late in the second quarter.
Chip said after the game that Parkey tweaked his leg on Tuesday, that he could have kicked but they kept him out to be careful. But he has also missed two field goals and an extra point in the first two preseason games, and it’s starting to be a concern. Kip Smith is not good — he was brought in to compete at punter — and there is no plan C.
5. The starting secondary is pretty good.
The Eagles had two interceptions for the third game in a row, including Walter Thurmond’s pick six in the first quarter, and they barely missed a couple more. Chip has emphasized ballhawks in his search for decent DBs to replace Bradley Fletcher, Nate Allen and Cary Williams, and it seems to be paying off.
A month ago, people were questioning whether Walter Thurmond could even play safety, a position he switched to for the first time in training camp. Now he has interceptions in the last two games, and the move looks like genius.
The secondary wasn’t perfect — the second half substitutes gave up several long passes, especially to #19 (Myles White), who abused EJ Biggers all night and had a one-armed circus catch lying flat on his back. And the Eagles gave up big yards on screen passes all game, something that all the new DB and ILB depth (Kiko, Jordan Hicks, re-signing Kendricks) was supposed to fix.
But after two years where the secondary was 32nd and 31st in the NFL, respectively, and cost the team several games, even mediocre defensive backs would be enough to take this team into the playoffs. And this unit looks a lot better than that. Kelly’s Oregon teams, and at times the 2013 Eagles, were explosive and fun to watch in large part because of takeaways, and this team may outdo them.
6. Skill player depth
The Eagles have a ton of great skill players who will be hard to cut. Kenjon Barner didn’t score a punt return TD this week, but he ripped off 50 yards on a screen pass with striking speed. He also stood tough after a brutal hit on a punt return. But Raheem Mostert, competing with him for a fourth RB slot, was relentless as well, starting with his 67 yard kickoff return to start the game. Kevin Monangai had 28 yards on just 5 carries against the 3rd and 4th string run defense.
14 different players caught passes, and even Jeff Maehl — who will not make this team — had several great plays, including a gritty TD he pounded in by lowering his helmet.
7. The Eagles have been lucky on injuries.
Unless Kiko Alonso or Cody Parkey were seriously hurt before the game, the Eagles have been very lucky this year. (Meanwhile, the Packers lost Randall Cobb for the game with an undefined neck (or shoulder) injury in the first quarter, after Jordy Nelson ended his year with an ACL tear earlier this week.) Lane Johnson left the game after a failed two-point conversion with a sprained MCL, which typically would keep him out 2-3 weeks depending on severity, but compared to competitors who are losing multiple players to serious injuries or multi-game suspension, the Birds are sitting pretty. And the starters won’t even play the last preseason game.
The hardest thing now will just be waiting until the regular season begins.
49 Responses
What the fuck is a “god-brother”? These critters…
^^ Ew. Jamie is gross!
I was thinking the same thing?
It’s when a n1gger has a baby with a black man after a 1 night stand and never sees the man again and needs an explanation to her other 6 n1ggerbabies as to where the new child came from with no father present. She tells the babies “God sent dis here child, it’s a God child he be your God brother”
Wake up white people
Who me??? Who you talkin to man??? I knock you out man…. You ain’t got no power !!!
Any updates on Katherine McFee? I’m dead and short.
Mark Saltveit is a Portland-based stand-up comedian, writer, and palindromist. Saltveit’s interest in wordplay goes back to his childhood, when he and his young brothers would discuss palindromes to stave off boredom during long family road trips
Who cares.
So, Mark, how big are you?
Huh?
Saltveit sounds of juuuuuuuuuuuu. Are you a juuuuuuuu Mark
Do you mean how physically large am I? Let’s be clear up front that I’m married and monogamous.
I’m over 6′ but shorter than Jimmy Kempski and Brandon Lee Gowton, who are huge. BLG’s gotta be 6’4, 6’5 maybe. Why do you ask?
You sound really cute.
Yeah, and you don’t even buy me a beer? Forget you.
OK, if you need some foreplay, I’m down with it. I can even do some post-action spooning with a reach-around if that’s what turns you on.
Bobby will this new friend Mark be cumming over for dinner? What kind of tastes does he like in his mouth mostly cream based stuff like my Bobby?
hee hee hee hee good one Bob’s mom
Fantastic. Well played Bob. Mark… U better wear a rubber dude.
are you real married or gay married? just need to know if you’re beyond criticism.
Let me be blunt. How big is your c0ck? Relaxed and aroused. Lots of guys on here would like to know. Jim Adair cums in at 4.2 and 5.1 Kyle at 3.8 and 7.2. Kyle is what I errrr we call a grower while Jim is a shower. I’m pegging you at about 4.4 and 5.5
@Atlanta – win
Dallas – win
@N.Y.Jets – win
@Washington – win
New Orleans – win
@Carolina – win
Bye
@Dallas – loss
Miami – win
Tampa Bay – win
@Detroit – loss
@New England – loss
Buffalo – win
Arizona – loss
Washington – win
@N.Y.Giants – win
Zzzzzz
Who the hell is this Mark guy?
Eagles played no one from Green Bay whonwill actually be in their starting lineups this year. Hold off on the parade.
Who do you think will start ahead of Eddie Lacy and Randall Cobb this year for Green Bay?
Their starting Defense played too
even when Sanchez came in most of their starters were still in….and he led 2 scoring drives
Is it ok not to know sports, but to spend every day babbling about it?
I obviously didn’t watch. I was just drunk at 3 in the morning (again).
I just read the only starter that isn’t injured and A-Aron didn’t start.
We realize the Packers have been talking all week about how useless the preseason is right? Calling what they threw at the Eagles offensively and defensively vanilla is an insult to vanilla. Chip has done this every preseason, run an offensive and defensive game plan like it’s a game in January. Averaging almost 30 points a game in the preseason means jack shit and this post by a typical, stereotype of a fan is embarrassing. Nobody of any consequence tries in the preseason. So no, I’m not impressed that Sam Bradford went 10 for 10 against mostly zone defensive schemes and generic blitzes that a high school team would find lazy. Save the overzealous slurping of Bradford and Chip if they manage to do something impressive against a legitimate, defensive game plan. Get ready for another classic Chip season, beat up on the scrubs and get waxed by the legitimate teams.
nope dipshit
Chip’s offense has ran 7 different plays no matter the QB, that’s fuckin “vanilla” dummy
Everybody can talk about how “vanilla” (cool buzzword you just picked up i see) every team is, yet so are the Eagles. They’ve gone 2-2 each postseason,but have yet to be this efficient in all 3 phases….I think you have been watching too much NFL network
Why did Green Bay’s starters even take the field then? So Cobb got injured and another o-lineman did too, so if the game was useless why did most of their starters play? Green bay played their starters last week too, but you say it was a useless preseason game, actually you said they said it was, but all their starters played, and a lot got hurt in that game…..but it’s useless so why were they out there?
DUDE MY C0CK IS GONE !!!!!
I was impressed by Bradford. Sucks that he’ll be injured within the first three or four games of the regular season.
They give Riley Cooper a contract and this Tx/Fl redneck doesn’t have a catch in preseason. They would be cutting his ass if not for the money owned. Worst offseason move the Eagles have made in Chip Kelly era.
Another no-show for Kiko Alonzo.Is it me or did Rex Ryan trade the Eagles a lemon disguised as a middle linebacker?
Black people can be lawyers and doctors too.
What were two biggest issues with Eagles last year? Inconsistent QB play that caused the offense to stall and not be able to get into a rhythm, and a horrible secondary that gave up countless big plays. Our QBs led the league in turnovers and struggled with accuracy, while our secondary gave up the most explosive plays in the league. Despite those two major issues, we went 10-6, albeit with a collapse at 9-3. There a few, if any, coaches in the league besides Chip Kelly who could win 10 games with their QBs leading the league in turnovers. It’s a testament to how big an impact the defense, and more so the historic special teams unit, had in keeping the team in games. They didn’t cross the middle of the field against San Fran til the 3rd quarter yet had it at the 2 yard line in the 4th quarter to win it because a ST and defensive touchdown helped keep them in the game.
This year, the special teams looks just as good, while the defense is still excellent against the run and sporting a much improved secondary. Three new starters and all have flashed. If they are marginally better than last year, which I’m sure they will be, that alone will add another win or two. On offense, they finally have the elite talent they need at QB to make this offense operate at peak performance. Bradford showed the repetitive accuracy Chip wants, and he’s only going to get better as he plays more. He’s supported by one of the best offensive minds in the NFL, a top 3 OL, two physical running backs who are better fits for the offense than McCoy, and more weapons than he could ever dream about when he was in St. Louis. You can say it’s only preseason all you want, but this team has walked down the field on first string defenses numerous times, and looks miles better than they did at this time last year. If Bradford can stay relatively healthy, meaning not a season ending injury, this team is absolutely a Super Bowl contender and is going to challenge offensive records.
Good points. Biggest problems with QBs last year were backing away from rush (Foles), not seeing open receivers (Sanchez), and throwing inaccurately to open WRs (both). Also, not enough interceptions (by the defense, I mean — Foles and Sanchez collectively led the league).
Eagles have done a good job fixing all three problems so far, and it’s not a question of coverage, it’s having the ability to physically execute tricky skills.
“It doesn’t mean anything, but it doesn’t mean nothing either”
Brilliant
Remember when Detroit went 4-0 in the preseason, then laid a goose egg in the regular season 0-16, just a short 7 years ago. Don’t reserve your Super Bowl parade seats on Broad Street just yet.
Exactly! There’s nothing wrong with being happy about 3-0 because we know the sky would be falling if they were 0-3. However, some people need to hold off a few more months before buying plane tickets to Santa Clara.
didn’t we throw snowballs at Santa Clara a while back?
She had it coming. Shouldn’t have been on the football field anyway.
Did Detroit smoke each team by 40 points in the first quarter? Didn’t think so.
this comment section needs more PUMPS IN DA BUMP
despite all the bikini-clad ladies, this video is still the gayest ever
Reminds me of the ocean city beach crowd between 5th and 16th streets.
What flavor Eagle kool aid is Jeffrey peddling this year? Let me quess, gold standard lemon. Didn’t he go 4 and 0 three years ago in preseason with Fat Red? How’d that season turn out?
Only reason I still come here
You meant to say cum here right
No that would be Kyle, Jim or this new guy, but thanks for thinking of me.
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