Honor “The Man” with This Timeless T-Shirt

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I might be the biggest idiot around for not making a shirt like this before he was traded. But our designer hit it out of the park with this one. Pure perfection. I apologize to your wallet. Honor The Man with this timeless classic. 10 years from now, you’ll be wearing it while painting your bedroom and your little kid – now in grade school – will ask you to tell him or her stories about The Man. The’ll say, “Who’s The Man?” and then you’ll spend the next 26 minutes talking their ear off about his greatness, catching yourself and stopping just short of the World Fucking Champions speech.

Shirt is printed on high-quality Tultex poly blend. It’s super soft and ever-so-slightly modern-fitting. It is available in heather red and heather blue, and in form-fitting junior sizes, for the ladies.* We accept all major credit cards and, yep, PayPal.

Get one

Note: The hat issue in the original artwork has been fixed. All orders will ship with the corrected version.

*Women’s sizes run small.


80 Responses

    1. Used the wrong artwork on the image. The slight hat issue and mark on the face is being updated momentarily. It will ship with the correct version.

  1. Holy hell…what a hot steaming pile of shit that thing is!

    You cant be serious and think this thing is a homerun…the hat!! really with he hat!

  2. In the original picture, he’s holding the brim of the cap. Perspective is all wrong. This image is all sorts of fucked up.

  3. It’s Friday, so I’m betting that’s the last post of the week unless there is some catastrophic event in the Philadelphia sports world.

    1. Either way you are getting no pussy in the bar rocking that shirt

      1. Actually the smell of yo mommas kunt on my fingaz while rockin dis here shirt says otherwise

  4. Kyle, isn’t it f*cking great making money off of other people’s hard work? Why used licensed images when you can just slap a “likeness” on a shitty t-shirt? Why write your own article when you can just cut and paste from Deadspin?

    You are no better than the lowlifes selling knock-off t-shirts outside of a concert.

    1. At least they have to get out there and hustle instead of sitting in their underwear at a computer in their mom’s basement.

      1. Sorry, Stanley. You only played 22 years for one team, hit .331 lifetime, 475 homers, 128 WAR, 24 times All-Star, 3 times MVP. And never once dropped the F-bomb in a public speaking setting. Nice try, though.

    1. “Chase doesn’t say much, but when it’s time for snacks, he leads by his actions.”

  5. This piece of crap is up there with the Ottawa police T shirts.

    I will personally blow smoke in anyone’s face that I see wearing this rag.

    1. …my last name is “Smokeinanyone’sfacethatIseewearingthisrag.” looking forward to meeting you Rhea

    1. Don’t you have a freakshow, tranny who causes fatal car accidents to publicly defend, Paul, you fucking cumguzzler?

          1. I heard the whole reason for the sex change is because legally they can’t prosecute Kris Jenner for anything Bruce did.

    1. He can’t put Utley’s name on it because then he’s got copyright infringement issues.

    2. Just pretend he plays for the Yankees. Or he’s serving kettle chips at Yankee Stadium.

      Now shut the fuck up and give Kyle money. Don’t mind the fact that Utley’s face looks like he has a giant port wine birthmark and the hat is all backwards.

  6. love the concept and overall design/ tagline. hat needs fixing and was addressed, otherwise im into it. id buy one if i didnt already have way too much phils gear.
    happy weekend philly.

    1. Simmonds. That was auto correct but my mistake is still not as bad as this shirt.

  7. “I may be the biggest idiot around”

    You can stop right there Kyle.

    1. Agreed. The designer for all of the CB shirts must have an online college graphic design degree.

  8. Also, your designer should be locked up for
    Plagiarism! Harry Kalas coined that phrase!

  9. Nobody wants your shitty, overpriced t-shirts, brother. Stop insulting all the Hulkamaniacs out there.

  10. The comments on this post are some of the best I’ve seen here in ages. Kyle, please create some more poorly designed crappy tee-shirts. This made my day.

  11. Kyle tries to line his pockets stealing from Utley, Kalas, the Phillies, and a ribeye steak clutching a WWII canteen, all in one shitty shirt.

    Fucking amazing how low this turd will go.

    1. LMAO @ “ribeye steak”. That was funnier than “map of Portugal”. I just peed in my office chair.

  12. I find myself starring off into the distance at work any time the song Kashmir comes on. I’m clearly not as strong as I thought I was

  13. Does the man have AIDS? Are those skin legions?

    RIP Chase. Deny until you die brotha!

  14. the hat is fixed…but what about his face & arms? I’ll keep my money until that’s fixed.

    1. If you actually buy this shit if he fixes it, you are a bigger fucking moron than I ever thought possible

  15. Overpriced POS shirt plus ridiculous shipping costs? Blow me. I’ll stick with online clothing from normal places where shipping is free or $2.50.

  16. Yea, this crappy shirt is “timeless” as in, “the time to develop it was three days ago”.

    Buy it now so you can be “dateless”, “sexless” and “respectless”.

    1. Compared to Pedroia?

      Pedroia career: .299/.365/.443, 115 HR
      Utley career: .282/.366/.482, 233 HR

      Pedroia 44.4 Career WAR
      Utley 61.6 Career WAR

      Even defensively:
      Pedroia 12.9 dWAR
      Utley 17.1 dWAR

      Pedroia has a chance to be better when its all said and done, but seems to be struggling to say healthy (or interested in a BAD team) anymore. The Sox made an emotional and bad deal extending an overachieving midget an offer like he’s a stud.

      If you want to troll, shoulda went down the “Utley will be happier playing for his hometown team” route.

      Drops mic…………………………….

  17. “A part of me wishes there was only one grainy, barely distinguishable image. This way it would command the fantastical lore befitting The Man‘s legacy.”

    But, F that right? Let me turn it into a gimmicky tshirt! Give me money!

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