This Bear Family Is Incredible

This video is everywhere today. Not gonna lie, by the end of it I was rooting for the bears to destroy the entire yard because of the family’s misplaced priorities over their cheap pool toys and swing set and because of their seeming complete lack of concern over the fact that their yard, which serves as a safe haven for at least several kids and dogs, has become a resort town for a family of POTENTIALLY DEADLY BEARS!

Few things:

– The kid is positively freaking out about her floaty. Understandable. Floaties are great. But still, the fact that she’s so concerned about it is endearing. The frivolous priorities of youth!

– Her freakout at 4:30 when one of the bears sets it sights on said floaty. That’s gonna leave a scar for years.

– The father who is so goddamned concerned about the cheap, $200 pool and not the fact that, again, THOSE BEARS COULD HAVE EATEN HIS CHILDREN! “They’re going to rip the bottom!” Who gives a shit, bro?! Just be thankful everyone is inside and not A BEAR SNACK!!! Maybe it’s time to move to somewhere where there’s not the potential for, you know, BEARS.

– Negative dad points when he informs the daughter – who just watched her floaty, pool and swing set get ruined by bears – that he’s probably not going to buy her a new pool. He should take a part-time job before ever even considering that nuclear option. Appropriate response: “Don’t worry– we’re going to get a bigger, better, BEAR-PROOF pool when we move somewhere far, far away, from bears!”

– And he’ll have the money to move and pay for the years of therapy his daughter will need– the media vultures are all over the YouTube comments requesting permission to use the video. Make them pay for that shit, Holmes. Buy your daughter an in-ground pool, with a fence, to keep out the, you guessed it, BEARS!

– So mad the bears didn’t discover the trampoline. So mad.

– 9:26: “I don’t like these bears!”

– Um, so did this all go very badly at the end?

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22 Responses

    1. I’d shoot you if you ever came near my house.

      They aren’t grizzlies you p**sy. They usually run if you yell at them, if not you just have to look big and bad until they do. Contrary to popular belief they wont attack you if you are around the cubs, only if you physically attempt to come into contact w the cubs. I came across a mother and 3 cubs on a hike once, put my jacket up over my head to look big and they ran off immediately. Lived in the poconos for 3 years had bears all over the place, never had any of them come at me or anything like that.

      1. wow you sound like a bear expert! A whole 3 years in the Poconos?! You came in contact with 1 bear! Wowwww

  1. The bear video is fantastic. I was compelled to keep watching it, not just for the awesomeness of the bears in the pool, but the idiot Dad and kid commentary.

  2. They better release the video that shows those white people electrocuting that innocent bear family and the police shooting them for no reason! #BlackBearLivesMatter

  3. I’m just going to say this right now, if I see any bears while I’m in town there’s going to be a shit storm of terror and wrath worse than the seven plagues ! My hand to God’s ears….I phucking hate bears!

    1. which brings us back to the age-old questions: Does the pope shit in the woods? Are bears Catholic?

  4. just see how quickly your $$ goes down the drain once your kid is born, then number 2 shows up. I don’t think you’ll be calling everything a family has cheap anymore. doesn’t matter how much you make, it all goes somewhere once the kids start droppin

    1. Or, you know, you could just not clown car your wife’s poon hole and save some of that braces and school clothes cash for something cool…like the Carnival Cruise Line Monsters of Rock Cruise.

  5. Once upon a time, there were six bears, a mama bear, a papa bear and three baby bears, named Chase, Jimmy and Cole. The bears were spotted, and taken to the zoo. Now we can see them any time we like. As for the real Chase, Jimmy and Cole, wait til next year. Maybe Phillies will play the Rangers next year at CBP.

  6. The mom is cool until it touches her float. She’s a total jerk. This is my favorite crossing broad post of all time, and I like all of them.

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