In the aftermath of the fresh Spygate info from this morning, Bill Simmons (who has always been calm and collected and able to keep his fan bias at bay) wet his diaper and threw a tantrum on Twitter.

sour grapes

Sure. Not all of those teams would have beaten the admittedly great Patriots either way, but the Pats, by spying, started every single game with an advantage that the other teams didn’t have, thus negating any win as an even one. It’s common sense. If the 2001 Steelers have “their special teams breakdown or Kordell shitting the bed” to blame, as Simmons says, that’s only because the Patriots started with a built-in advantage that allowed the special teams’ failure and Kordell Stewart’s missteps to cause a loss. If the Pats didn’t have the advantage they gained from cheating, maybe they still would have won. Maybe the Steelers still would have fallen apart. But maybe the Steelers could have fallen apart and still won, because the game began on an even playing field. And as for the Eagles/Patriots Super Bowl tweet above? Again, the Eagles fell apart at the end of that game (and puked, etc.) but if the Pats didn’t steal signals to begin with, the Eagles could have fallen apart and STILL WON. And that’s not even taking into account that if you remove the Patriots’ advantage, that WHOLE GAME is played differently.

If some team spied on his dear Pats or Red Sox or Celtics – all fan bases known for being calm and rational, like Simmons – his rant would be even longer. But his fandom is blinding his generally good analysis. And his Tom Brady Super Bowl ring avatar? That’s just throwing him in with the rest of the fanboy crazies, but that’s probably where he belongs.