Eagles Will Win The Super Bowl This Season, Study Says

We’ve reached the point of the long, painful offseason at which we reach for tenuous connections between visiting dignitaries and sports success.

But, this stands out.

Mass Media E-Marketing Analytics put together this study – because all studies surrounding sports get instant publicity for [insert otherwise boring group] – about sports success for cities that host the Pope. The results pretty much make things a lock:

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In addition to the ten championships in the year following a Papal visit, four additional teams won Championships two years following a visit from his Holiness. The Islanders and 49ers repeated in 1981 and 1989, respectively. In 1989, the Oakland A’s and the Detroit Pistons finally closed the deal with championships after losses in the World Series and the NBA Finals in 1988. Ironically, in 1988 those two teams lost to Los Angeles teams, a city the Pope also visited in 1987.

In the ten Pope visits to the U.S., 15 teams from host cities made it to the Championship Game the following year. In visits to 17 host cities with at least one major sports team, those cities saw 17 divisional champions. Along with divisional championships, those 17 cities saw 28 teams earn a playoff berth the season following a Pope’s visit.

Of course, an interesting wrinkle here is that none of the 10 teams that went on to win it all – or the others who saw success – cut Tim Tebow just a month before the Pontiff’s arrival. Not sure how that factors in to the holy moly. And it’s also worth noting that the Pope will be stopping by D.C. and New York this time around… but there’s no way the Mets pull it off, right?

H/T to reader Chris

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15 Responses

  1. I have the direct line with God and word on the street, heaven, and hell is this is pure bullshit! This is not happening and you son’s of bitches should recant this post and repent! Lying bastards!

  2. The pope is also going to NYC – since Tom Coughlin is on the hot seat again chances are they’ll win the title with that sister fucking retard eli

  3. So a Papal visit guarantees us an Eagles Super Bowl victory yet the snobs in Center City will still bitch that they have nowhere to park their Saab that weekend!

  4. Your logic is so screwed up. Why can’t it be the Flyers, Sixers, Phillies next season, Union? Maybe its the Union winning the US Open Cup. There is absolutely no correlation to it HAVING to be the Eagles.

    1. Psst. He says the Eagles because, in case you haven’t noticed, the rest of our teams suck right now. #FlyEaglesFly

      And besides, interesting to see the Pope and Joe Banner on the same side of this– can’t be a coincidence, can it?

  5. The ONLY reason the Eagles made it to the Super Bowl against the Pats was because the entire NFC sucked and they won by default!

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