Mayor Nutter thinks the media (and blogs?) “scared the shit out of people” for the Pope’s visit? Well, he ain’t seen nothing yet. The new spaghetti models are out, and boy, are things about to get saucy, or, if you’re a proper Italian, gravy-y!

Yep, we’re all going to die. Batten your hatches. Stronger than the storm. Christie. Snookie. We’ve seen this play before!

Me feels a Saturday Eagles game coming on.

UPDATE: Gazy Szatkowski, famous for his call on Sandy, issues the National Weather Service update:

Moderate coastal flooding is possible on Thursday. Moderate to major coastal flooding is now possible on Friday with the strong northeast winds. This is in advance of any impacts from Hurricane Joaquin. If Hurricane Joaquin directly affects the region, major to record coastal flooding is possible.

Batten. Your. Hatches.