Chase Utley Issued the Most Chase Utley Statement Ever and My God I Love The Man

Chase Utley will play tonight – or at least he’ll be available and should be in the lineup to take Matt Harvey deep – and rather than speak to the gremlins trolling about his locker, he issued a terse statement, which tickles my heart like viewing pictures of small babies playing peek-a-boo with puppies. Chase, I see you:

“The Players Association and my agent are handling the appeals process. I have nothing more to say other than to reiterate that I feel terrible about Ruben’s injury. Now my teammates and I are focused on Game 3 and doing everything we can to win this series.”

Translation: Sorry about Ruben, but seriously, screw off. I’m going to slide like that again and, honestly, I’m kind of mad I didn’t break his other leg, too. Your good friend, Chase.

Just buy a shirt. All red in stock, blue in select sizes:

Get one.


14 Responses

      1. The updated one looks like he’s holding his hat upside down begging for coins! Ha! Ha! Ha!

  1. Chase Utley has OWNED Prima Donna Harvey in his brief career, and Harvey has already thrown at him as a fucking Phil. Can’t wait to see Chase play tonight… A Major League player vs. Nuke LaLouche. Pass the popcorn! Fucking man

  2. Utley’s a scumbag. His ‘playing hard’ Schtick is beat. Completely dirty play. Chase Utley, you are a douche!

  3. All red in stock, blue in select sizes: S, M, L , XL and XXL.

    Nobody bought these shirts. They are crap. Complete garbage.

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