Meathead Rob Lowe Wants Spineless Don Mattingly Fired, and So Do I

Don Mattingly has cable. But he should switch to DirectTV, because when the Dodgers fire him on Monday, he’ll probably want the best picture and sound to enjoy a theater quality experience with all his downtime.

Mattingly is a vagine. One without a spine. You want to know when the Dodgers lost their series to the Mets? When Mattingly inexplicably didn’t start Chase Utley in Game 3 against Matt Harvey, whom Utley was 6-for-18 with a home run in his career. Utley got one at-bat – in the ninth inning last night – after his brutal takeout slide of Ruben Tejada got him and the Dodgers so far inside the Mets’ heads that David Wright requested a lobotomy with his next acupuncture sesh. The Mets were so concerned with Utley and whether or not to hit him, that Harvey may have exploded on the mound in Game 3 because of all the pressure. Citi Field would’ve collapsed upon itself had Chase taken Harvey to Utley’s Corner. It would’ve been a finishing move… in Game 3. There would’ve been no bouncing back from that. No Game 5. Just three-consecutive Dodgers wins. But no. No, Mattingly did a solid for his Joe Torre overlord and sat Utley in New York– for two full games! He relegated one of the most clutch* players of a generation, who was so fired up that he couldn’t even blink…

… to the bench in favor of Howie Kendrick, whose OPS was a full 50 points lower than Utley’s since the All-Star break. Mind-boggling. I’m with Meathead Rob Lowe. Fire Mattingly. Fire him now. Gutless lady part.

*Yeah I know the SABR heads don’t believe clutch is a thing, but I can’t hear them over the sound of Utley’s five home runs against the Yankees in 2009.


33 Responses

  1. OK Kyle, Real talk, since its a slow day for a Friday. You talk and think its a joke that most of us hate Jim as a running gag and that we are a vocal minority. I disagree. We all Loathe him and his writing. Its also highly hypocritical of you to write an entire piece on butt-hurt hipsters being overly PC, when Jim is posting similar dribble on your site. His posts lack direction, are not funny, rarely entertaining and he completely alienates most of your readers. I think you do a great job. I think this Mark guy was a good edition if we can clean up his writing a bit. But Jim seriously has to go, or should be limited to strictly Sixers posts. CB has been becoming as entertaining as Deadspin recently, and I haven’t read deadspin in 3 years because its written and managed by hipsters that watch sports. I don’t care what they think, because its usually so far out there on the opposite side of Curt Schilling.

    I’m a reader, I use your amazon link. I support your site. I hate Jim and do not want to continue supporting the site if it employs him.

    1. Kyle probably uses advanced metrics on his site to determine traffic going to particular articles. And while a few people bitch and complain about Jim I bet there’s a disconnect between what is said on here in the comments and what shows up in terms of clicks and traffic on Jim’s posts. If Jim makes him more money than it costs to employ him, Kyle has no reason to get rid of him. I wouldn’t.

      1. There is no doubt that Kyle is monitoring traffic to each article. Why would he not? He is a savvy marketer and businessman when it comes to his site.

        I open up CB and try to read Kyle’s posts and Mark’s posts. If I can prevent myself from reading Jim’s I do. But if CB links an article form twitter or facebook, and you have bored white 20-35 year olds needing something to keep them occupied, they click it, regardless. Might not know whether it was a Jim Adair or Kyle article. tough to know when clicking it, so it may be skewing web traffic.

        I don’t know, I’m purely speculating. If that is the case, maybe it would be best to test it out or see if there is another writer like mark, we can use as placebo to see what traffic is like during posts.

        1. I feel like taking a 2 by 4 to jim’s back Everytime I see his holier than thou shit

    2. Dude, I really think you should mind your own business! you realize you come off as one of the same said hipsters, you despise so much, dont you? “Whah, fire jim because I don’t think he writes well, whahh!! DO you really think KS, is going to give two f ucks to what style writing you prefer to read? Get over it, dude. You wanna cry until you get YOUR way and get what YOU want. Here’s an idea, you self righteous ‘hipster’ (because thats exactly how you are coming off), start your own f ucking blog, hire your own f ucking writers, and stop telling other people how to run their business. The blog will still exist, even if you decide to not to visit it.

          1. I stop reading what you said when I saw the word brah and brah was the second word in your name.

    3. This guy hits the nail on the head. I won’t even open a CB post if I know that Jim has wrote it. I’m not a Jim hater as I”m sure he is a nice guy. But his posts are not interesting nor are they funny.

    4. edition? Mark guy was a good edition if we can clean up his writing a bit? We? Is that your job now? DICK!

  2. Does anyone realize this is the correct definition of insanity:


    : a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)


    : such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility


    a: extreme folly or unreasonableness

    b: something utterly foolish or unreasonable

  3. Somehow my previous post decided to post on its own before I even typed it…so

    @That Guy – Is this what consists of your life? Writing a diatribe on someone on a sports blog? Have you nothing else in life to worry about? I have an idea, if you are so offended and worried about the content of someone’s writing, how about you spend some time over on Bloomberg, Forbes, National Geographic, Washington Post or many of the other news outlets that you can gather all the real world issues, written properly to your tastes?

    I bet you are real fun at parties and you can probably maintain healthy relationships with your many, many friends and wife right? I think it’s more like: Your wife hates you, your kids don’t talk to you and your friends are the commenters here on CB. You probably wake up in the morning, kick your dog and yell at your wife while you excitedly log onto CB again, only to find an article written by Jim again. The cycle probably continues every day and it just drives you insane huh?

    Why don’t you post an article of your choice, written by only you (don’t ask your kids for help, they hate you). When you are done this article, submit it here to be posted as a “user submission” so we can all analyze what you bring to the table. Ok, Mr. Hemingway?

    1. Exactly, I am in no way a violent guy, but there is something about That Guy, that makes me want to, I dont know, spit on him or something.

      1. not to mention he started his first post with “Real talk”
        what kind of man uses the term “real talk”?
        sound like someone on maury povich or jerry springer.

    1. “didn’t start Chase Utley in Game 3 against Matt Harvey, whom Utley was 6-for-18 with a home run in his career.”

      kid cant even read.

      – Hose B

  4. This analysis is so perfect I have nothing to add. You leave your biggest Met-killer on the bench for the whole series. In game three the Mets would have preferred to hit Utley in the head over winning.

  5. Agree in principle with main point….sitting Utley was awful. But sounds like Mikey Miss analyzing and trying to convince everyone he played ball beyond grade school. #tryingtoofuckinghardskippy

    1. Ah yes, we have Mr. Baseball himself, Bob here. Despite his silly attempts to convince people baseball is better than football, he continues to look like the fool he is. Ratings from last night came out. Dodgers-Mets, a deciding playoff game between teams from the two biggest cities in the country, did a 5.6. The Falcons-Saints game, a Thursday night game between two southern teams, did a 10.4. If that doesn’t tell you all you need to know, then I can’t help you. And believe me, I like baseball, but I’m sick of Bob spouting this bullshit. If you don’t like football don’t watch, but stop acting like it isn’t the bastion of American sports.

      1. Dude ur a fucking moron. There’s three hundred Bobs on this site. Go back to wearing a tin foil hat and a bedsheet.

  6. Sat Jimmy too. Why? Maybe third base wouldn’t have been unattended. Why would you get these guys and then not play them in the win or go home game? That’s dumber than anything Sandberg did this season! Mattingly is gonna be “outta here”!

  7. late to the party, but sitting Utley against NY in the playoffs? nick leyva or john felske wouldn’t do that

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