These polls seem to happen every year, and every year the Phanatic lands in the number one spot. Usually, we don’t pay attention. But the Phillies aren’t number one anything right now, so we’ll take what we can get.

Good Morning America ranked the top five mascots in baseball, and of course the Phanatic won. In second place was Bernie Brewer – who exists – followed by Mr. Redlegs, the Royals’ Sluggerrr, and Redlegs’ brother-with-alopecia, Mr. Met.

I almost feel bad for Mr. Met when these things happen. It’s like when People Magazine comes out with their “Sexiest Man Alive” issue. And every year, I’m sure Jonah Hill picks up an issue – knowing full well what he’ll find inside – but he cracks the spine, hoping against hope that this will be his year. It never is. He’s the guy we laughed at for years, but now he’s being taken seriously. Screw Jonah Hill, and screw Mr. Met.