OH BOY. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I know that’s not the most creative way to begin a blog post, but it was my natural reaction and I had to get it out of the way. Okay, now we can move on. Oh wait, it’s happening again.
Okay, now I’m good: Ruben Amaro is reportedly very interested in making the move from GM to manager. Yes. Manager. According to Nick Cafardo at the Boston Globe – via Philliedelphia – he’s hired a guy to help him make the move:
Ruben Amaro Jr. a manager? Bob Lamonte, the premier agent for NFL coaches and executives, has taken on a new baseball assignment — remaking the former Phillies GM. Lamonte, who has remade the careers of NFL coaches such as John Fox, Andy Reid, and Jack Del Rio, and transformed Jon Gruden from NFL coach to ESPN star, is now working with the 50-year-old Amaro and trying to sell him as a GM or manager.
I imagine Amaro picked up his Blackberry and called Lamonte, telling him he’d be really honored to be Mr. Manager, to which Lamonte had to remind Amaro that it’s just “manager.” Tony La Russa said this about the move: “Ruben is a very smart baseball man. There’s no doubt in my mind he could be a very good major league manager. He’s an ex-player who understands the game.” La Russa may be drinking again.
I just can’t even imagine this. It’d bet good that money and contract decisions would be out of his hands, but oh boy would he make the worst managerial decisions. Remember all of those times he denied that his players getting old and bad had nothing to do with them actually getting old? His starting lineups would be filled with 33-year-olds who have an okay slugging percentage but do nothing else. He’s the guy who would’ve started Matt Stairs, or Geoff Jenkins, in place of Jayson Werth. His teams would shatter records for strikeouts. Imagine his press conferences. He’d cry after losses. Every. One. Of. Them. Never mind, now I’m in favor of it. This has to happen.
The team Amaro is mainly focusing on is the Miami Marlins, which would keep them completely out of contention while the Phillies get their rebuild going. It could be nice.