Ruben Amaro Wants to be a Manager Now AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Photo Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

OH BOY. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I know that’s not the most creative way to begin a blog post, but it was my natural reaction and I had to get it out of the way. Okay, now we can move on. Oh wait, it’s happening again.

AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

Okay, now I’m good: Ruben Amaro is reportedly very interested in making the move from GM to manager. Yes. Manager. According to Nick Cafardo at the Boston Globevia Philliedelphia – he’s hired a guy to help him make the move:

Ruben Amaro Jr. a manager? Bob Lamonte, the premier agent for NFL coaches and executives, has taken on a new baseball assignment — remaking the former Phillies GM. Lamonte, who has remade the careers of NFL coaches such as John Fox, Andy Reid, and Jack Del Rio, and transformed Jon Gruden from NFL coach to ESPN star, is now working with the 50-year-old Amaro and trying to sell him as a GM or manager.

I imagine Amaro picked up his Blackberry and called Lamonte, telling him he’d be really honored to be Mr. Manager, to which Lamonte had to remind Amaro that it’s just “manager.” Tony La Russa said this about the move: “Ruben is a very smart baseball man. There’s no doubt in my mind he could be a very good major league manager. He’s an ex-player who understands the game.” La Russa may be drinking again.

I just can’t even imagine this. It’d bet good that money and contract decisions would be out of his hands, but oh boy would he make the worst managerial decisions. Remember all of those times he denied that his players getting old and bad had nothing to do with them actually getting old? His starting lineups would be filled with 33-year-olds who have an okay slugging percentage but do nothing else. He’s the guy who would’ve started Matt Stairs, or Geoff Jenkins, in place of Jayson Werth. His teams would shatter records for strikeouts. Imagine his press conferences. He’d cry after losses. Every. One. Of. Them. Never mind, now I’m in favor of it. This has to happen.

The team Amaro is mainly focusing on is the Miami Marlins, which would keep them completely out of contention while the Phillies get their rebuild going. It could be nice.

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18 Responses

  1. Kyle can you do a post on the glasses Mikey Miss was wearing today on BOB? i think my grandmother has the same pair

    1. I thought the same thing. He always looks like that on BOB. All he was missing was the gold chain to keep them around his neck.

  2. Why would he be a bad manager Jim? Honestly curious as to how you came to that conclusion. He does have baseball experience, game experience, and talent evaluation. He was a player for many years. He did put together some good teams doing some crazy things that looked good at the time, but were bad in the long run. He might be a great baseball game manager, and a good coach. Sure he was a crappy GM, but what does that have to do with a game manager? two completely different positions. This is a pretty crappy post . Stick to the sixers.

    1. Are you serious? The problem with RAJ as a GM was that he was an old school mind in a new era of baseball. For example, RAJ has been quoted as saying he doesn’t care about getting on base, he cares about “run production”. Now, he wants to apply his outdated logic in the dugout where he needs to make a line up, quick decisions and manage a bullpen on the fly?

      You seem like one of those guys that just want to come on here and shred every one of Jim’s posts. What he posted here was spot on. RAJ as a manager would be every bit of a disaster as RAJ the GM for all the same reasons.

      1. Learn to read buddy. Me: “He might be a great baseball game manager, and a good coach. Sure he was a crappy GM, but what does that have to do with a game manager? two completely different positions.”

        part of baseball is run production . Part of run production is OBP. A big part of OBP and run production is the right personnel, which Rube would have very little control over. A manager would get say over swinging, bunting, trying to move base runners, batting order, right? he has the experience to be a good game manager, without having seen him do it yet. He should start in minors first, but this hate by him on Rube is completely unjustified.

        Full disclosure: I hate Jim’s posts. He’s just wrong here.

  3. The Arrested Development “illusion” is not lost on the intelligent.

    “A trick is what a whore does for money….or cocaine!” – GOB

  4. Nobody will let this guy near a major league ball team after what he did to the Phillies. He should start over at tee ball.

  5. Jim Adair wants to be a writer. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    Wait, who is Jim Adair?

    1. “Remember all of those times he denied that his players getting old and bad had nothing to do with them actually getting old?”

      He denied… nothing? So he admitted that players getting old and bad had to do with them getting old? This is like a delayed double-negative.

      I believe Jim meant “anything” in place of that “nothing” — because “Jim denied that that his middle school-level writing skills had nothing to do with people complaining about his role on the site” just sounds stupid.

  6. Words all NL East fans want to hear. The Next Manager of your Washington Nationals.

  7. Ruben has evidently been pocketing his psychotropic drugs. He’s not been well lately. He has not been properly medicated. The inattentive night shift nurse assigned to his care at the hospital has been fired. Ruben is now resting comfortably in a low stimulus safety room, in four point locked cuffs, and he is oriented to his name only…he thinks he’s someone named Connie Mack. He cries out every now and then and mentions someone named Charlie. He also keeps saying to himself, “Ed Wade is a genius.”

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