Terminally Offended Hipsters Are Upset With Philly’s Patrick Kane Chant

Pic courtesy of (@flyersgirl38)

tatometimes I hate bloggers.

SB Nation, your unfunny cousin who takes Facebook memes way too far, weighs in– specifically, a woman who writes for their Caps blog, Jaspers Rink:

Voila_Capture 2015-10-15_03-07-05_PM

The Blackhawks have played two road games so far this year, once in Brooklyn against the Islanders and again last night in Philadelphia. In both buildings, fans have taunted Patrick Kane with some version of a “no means no” chant. It’s a phrase which, in the context of social activism, shows support to the victims of sexual assault – but at a sporting event like this, where the tone is almost certainly one of mockery, it does the exact opposite.

Flyer and Islander fans who participated in these chants should be ashamed of themselves; their fellow fans who did not partake should be embarrassed to be associated with them. Jokingly referencing something like sexual assault is part of a larger issue in our society in which such events are not taken nearly seriously enough, a culture in which the voice of the victims and their allies and advocates carries little weight. These chants, and the issues behind them, are not funny or clever… and they’re definitely not okay.

Greg Wyshynski, Puck Daddy:

Times have changed. This isn’t 1979 at Madison Square Garden, where New York Rangers fans lustfully chanted “Beat Your Wife, Potvin, Beat Your Wife!” in reference to the spousal abuse allegations made against New York Islanders star Denis Potvin during a particularly prickly divorce. Over 35 years later, we expect more from fan behavior as we expect more from player behavior.

When it comes to Kane, the allegations shouldn’t be off the table for rival fans. I just wish they’d do something with a little more meaning behind it than turning powerful phrases into singsong chirps.

Bring a sign to the game with a rape crisis hotline number next to Kane’s picture, for example. Do something that uses this moment as a way to create awareness and do something proactive, while still keeping the spotlight on the player in question. Do something that shows you’re not just propagating something somber into something meaningless.

Ugh. I just rolled my eyes back so far that I know what life is like as a frog.

First of all, this isn’t a Philly fans are evil thing (surprisingly). It’s a we-need-to-up-our-in-arena-discourse thing. Which is just absurd.

Without diving too deeply and getting all meta on the chants, it’s fairly obvious, to any normal person, that this is what happened last night: bad dude on the ice, bad dude plays for other team, crowd reminds dude that he’s bad, crowd reminds national TV audience that dude is bad, especially since dude is only four regular season games removed from being accused of rape. For all the heat the NFL takes, The Shield seems awfully uninterested in handing out their own punishment in the absence of a conviction that won’t come. So, Kane plays this season and has to face 41 road crowds eager to remind everyone that the best player on the ice could be a rapist. There’s no more to it than that. No deeper meaning. No place for heightened civil discourse amongst 20,000 hockey fans there to have fun and see a hockey game. This seems obvious to me. Deriding or calling out a bad dude for being a bad dude (allegedly– but, mind you, public opinion does not subscribe to the same standard as a court of law) is pretty much the fundamental element on which our society maintains some semblance of order. It’s completely ridiculous for the overly-PC, terminally offended hipster* hockey blogger crowd to try to turn a bunch of mostly good people riding a potentially bad dude into anything more than that, and it’s the sort of self-indulgent handwringing that has become all too common in online media. If you want to take it a step further, the melodic nature of arena chants certainly gives the issue a lot more attention than handing out rape hotline pamphlets, or holding up a sign with its number, a suggestion that is positively absurd and would lead to the same sort of reaction from the hockey crowd that likes to see itself write.

Were the chants in bad taste? No. Were they in good taste? Not really. They were in a weird grey area. But again, this might not be a problem if Kane didn’t put himself in a position to be accused of rape, or if his team and league didn’t try to, as Wyshynski wrote, “[sweep] it under the rug so vigorously that the broom’s caught fire.”

I’ve been doing this for five years now, and one of the things I’ve tried to fight off was the urge to become so disconnected with reality – with what normal people working normal jobs care and think about – that I started writing shit like this, that I started conflating natural human behavior – deride bad dude – with some greater societal problem of making light of alleged rape. No one is joking about rape. Fuck that. A group of decency-respecting humans were gathered in a place, and a guy they already didn’t like had just been accused of doing something heinous. Did he do it or not? We’re never going to know. Kane will become just the latest athlete to be accused of something terrible but get off with a hand-slap because he has high-priced lawyers to eviscerate the accuser in any way possible. But it doesn’t exactly require mental gymnastics, given Kane’s public persona as a perpetually drunken dickhead, to acknowledge that he might have done it. And since his team, league and legal team will be doing everything they can to get us to forget about it, and since somehow it’s OK that his hometown newspaper and crowd addressed the accusation of rape with this

Kane wasn’t sure what to expect when he was introduced at the United Center.

“It seemed like the crowd was supportive,” he said. “You don’t know which way it’s going to go.”

The answer: Loud. Kane pumped his fist toward the sea of red seated around him while he skated onto the ice during pregame festivities.

He received a taste of that reception when he walked the red carpet on Madison Street during player introductions three hours before the puck dropped on the 2015-16 season.

Unlike some of his mates, Kane did not address the crowd but instead acknowledged it with a wave.

“Whether it’s hockey or different things, we’ve done a good job of kind of quieting that outside noise and focusing on what we have to,” Kane said.

On Wednesday, that was the noise inside the United Center.

… sports fans elsewhere will make sure he doesn’t hear the end of it until there’s some sort of finality in the matter, which will probably never come. So please, self-indulgent hockey bloggers, tell me more about how showering Kane with jeers is somehow worse than giving him a fucking standing ovation because he plays for the hometown team.

*I’d like to thank (@michaelkinky) for that term, which I will now use to reference the online hockey media and pretty much everyone associated with SB Nation’s lousy parent site.

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43 Responses

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      1. YEA!! I’M MAKING SO MUCH CASH GIVING GREAT PICKS THAT I STILL NEED TO SCHLEP FOR CLIENTS IN COMMENTS SECTIONS!!!

        What’s the better term here, liar or loser? I’ll go with both.

      2. Godfather Locks sucked on 45 units during his winning streak? Bob, the bar has been raised!

  1. Why shouldn’t we publicly shame someone who is (probably) a rapist? Fuck that guy. This is going to turn out just like it did with Ben Rothlisberger. Nothing official will come of it but he’s most likely a rapist, so the least we fans can do is constantly remind them of the shitty thing they did.

    1. . Probably a rapist? That’s the standard your using? Gtfo dude. You’re embarrassing yourself

    2. Yeah, in the history of gold digging, this is one of the oldest and most sure fire ways for a female to get a settlement out of court to just make it go away. I know I sound fucked up saying this, and if it truly happened, that’s obviously awful, but until we know the deal, which we may never find out, all outcomes are on the table. It’s a little ridiculous that now more is expected of a fan to act right at a game when they’re there by spending their hard earned jingle, and yet athletes can act like they own the world and have knucleheads like this writer come at fans like they’re the ones standing accused. No ones gonna read this, its ways too long, fuck you all.

      1. Yeah… I think Kane bears blame for making himself an obvious and easy target, but I think anyone saying “Probably” at this point just hasn’t been following the story.

  2. Would love to whack a couple hipsters with w baseball bat. Scum of the earth

    1. I’m PC Brah!! PC Villanova since 2010. Do you want to work-out and head to Whole Foods later for some gluten-free beer?

  3. Kyle, you and Jim both come across as hipsters with your spotty beards and poor man’s David Beckham haircuts.

  4. So its ok to intentionally brake a guys leg and mock someone for being a rapist.

    Banner week for CB here

  5. Agree.

    Not entirely sure what’s so “hipster” about the whole thing though. Seems just like an angry word to use because anger.

    1. Hipsters are always worried about people getting hurt – whether it be physically or their feelings.

  6. Easy way to get rid of the hipster problem, poison all the beer and shitty apps at Guppy’s. Problem solved.

  7. I used to be a social justice warrior and attend “black lives matter” rallies, but can’t anymore since a vibrant black man stabbed me to death on a train in D.C. . I was totally shocked a black person was capable of this, and even more so that he was using a knife because i was always taught that it’s guns that need to be banned, i wish somebody had a gun on that train that day, but D.C. has made it illegal to carry

  8. You seriously need to look at your own site. You have the biggest pussy hipster on the blogosphere that you are paying. Quit paying people like Jim and they will go away, because they cannot afford to pay their internet bill, so they cannot post to tumblr.

    1. I’m sick of hipster black lives matter Jim. He brings nothing to the table . We need more of that mark dude

      1. Well he went to Harvard.

        He did go to Harvard.

        Mark Saltveit = Harvard Grad

        Later, more responses from me regarding the site’s credibilty boost due to one – Mark Saltveit – being a graduate of Harvard University.

        Harvard.

  9. AMATEUR BLOGGER WARS: HIPSTER-EMPLOYING KYLE SCOTT EXCHANGES MISSLES WITH DOUCHEY HIPSTER BLOGGER ON TWITTER.

  10. Can we get another post blindly defending Draft Kings and Fan Duel? Please Kyle, I need to know how it definitely isn’t online gambling and the government is Jay out to get entrepreneur douchebags like yourself and the scum bags running these DFS sites.

    1. I agree that is quite comical that the sole defense for these websites existing is that they are viewed as a “game of chance” rather than a “game of luck.” In reading an article about the federal investigation, I thought this was the most interesting text:

      “The industry was dealt another blow on Thursday when Nevada regulators ruled that playing daily fantasy sports is considered gambling under state law, and required websites such as DraftKings to shut down until they obtain proper state licenses.”

      We know that Vegas stands to lose the most from daily fantasy so one has to wonder how far and how dirty they’ll get in an effort to see that Draft Kings/Fan Duel burn to ashes. Of course, Uncle Sam may sit back and wait for the highest bidder.

        1. Stay away from my place, we chump buyers all the time: “That rebate just expired, Sorry, you owe us an extra $1500.00”

          Heh Heh Boy I guess
          hahaha – synthy girls chorus

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