Allow me to screed for a moment.

I’m sure Mark is currently putting together his thoughtful, non-reactive, nuanced take on the Eagles’ loss to the medicore-ish Dolphins. But I must react hastily and in a way that will probably make me seem like a buffoon when viewed through the lens of 24 hours contemplation.

Miles Austin fucking sucks. He cost the Eagles the game. I’m willing to blame this loss on him. Even with inconsistent quarterbacks, a piss poor running game, bad snaps, poor special teams execution, and a couple of fluke plays, it’s the Miles Austin connection that, yet again, failed the Eagles.

In the second half alone, that useless, no-good, waste of uniform numbers cost the Eagles at least two touchdowns, maybe a third, and a probable first down on their final drive.

In order:

  1. A deep pass on third and eight on the Eagles’ first drive of the third quarter that would’ve put the Birds in easy field goal range and, at least, given them a chance at a touchdown. It went through his hands. Punt.
  2. In the fourth quarter, Mark Sanchez finds Austin open in the back of the end zone, and Austin, an ostensible veteran, couldn’t do what a mid-level high school receiver, or really skilled beach football player, could’ve done and drag both feet. No touchdown. Field goal.
  3. Later in the fourth quarter, Austin makes virtually no attempt to catch this touchdown-seeking pass from Sanchez. What’s more, he made no attempt to prevent it from being intercepted, which for all intents and purposes was the game for the Eagles. No touchdown. Interception:

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  4. On first and 10 after gaining a quick first down on the Eagles’ final drive, Sanchez throws to a WIDE OPEN Austin on a crossing route and he’s not looking. A senseless wasted play when all the Eagles needed were a few more short completions to kick a game winning field goal. Game over.

You know you’re a complete waste and football garbage when searching the game’s play-by-play for your name yields the following results, in order: incomplete, incomplete, intercepted, tackle, incomplete.

I’ve never seen a receiver more useless to make plays on catchable balls. He makes barely a token effort and waves at anything not in his midsection, completely fails in his secondary role to break up interceptions, and never appears to be on the same page as his quarterbacks. The Miles Austin connection stinks. It’s a waste. He’s a waste. He’s cost the Eagles 20+ points this season and the game today. Cut him.