We Zaprudered The Jahlil Okafor Fight
What follows is an edited version of the latest Jahlil Okafor fight, originally posted by TMZ. For educational purposes, we have dissected it frame by frame. Come with us on our journey.
0:00-0:07– “Yo Jahlil! Yo Jahlil! Jahlil, you don’t need that!”
We immediately establish support for Team Jah, as an onlooker, seemingly close to the camera, is firmly in Okafor’s camp. This person will become a star today.
0:12-0:20– Jahlil with an aggressive “that’s fuck up!”
Strong non-verbal punctuation on fuck with the hand flinging it from lips to ears– a sign that Jahlil is ready to do battle.
0:20-0:47– Jahlil unleashes a torrent of verbal assaults, all pertaining to his wealth.
Genuinely perplexing – and weak – move here by Jahlil. One, maybe two or three taunts about how much money you make is acceptable. But BIG JAH can’t let it go. A sampling of his barbs:
“You broke ass bitch.”
“We got money!”
“We got you money, you broke ass n*gga!”
“How much money you make, you broke ass n*gga!”
THEORY:
Jahil was trying to get the groups girls, they said "you got money and can't get our girls" & he retorts with you're broke @CrossingBroad
— Jamie Lynch (@jelynchjr) December 2, 2015
0:47-0:49– Intensity increases.
Just a strong “broke ass bitch” here. Really selling the “bitch” aspect:
0:50-0:57– “Money! Money! Money!”
Oh, Jah, no. The money-double bird combo on a public street? Say it ain’t so!
0:58-0:59– Engaging.
1:00– White dude caught in the crossfire.
Poor guy. He may have pulled something getting out of the way here.
1:00-1:13– The initial melee attack. It’s unclear if Jahlil connects on his right cross.
Unfortunately, things went dark after this frame. All the viewer sees is pavement, with Jahlil’s “What’s up then?” filling the Boston air.
1:10-1:15– We officially reach fracas status. Eventual victim falls to ground with what we’ll learn is a gaping head wound. It’s unclear if Okafor administered this injury.
1:13-1:15– The Sixers’ future careens into a Boston storefront, slightly pushing open a locked door.
The sound of chains clanging really rounds out our aural experience. It’s almost as if a seasoned sound man edited our audio track.
1:16– “Fuck out Jahlil Okafor! Stay off Jahlil.”
I believe this is our Sixers fan. If he’s not in the Revolutionaries by sundown, someone is failing at their job. A+ Sixers supporter here. Jahlil could pull a gun and start shooting, and this guy will remain in his corner. Together we build.
1:16-1:20– Screams.
My vote: The Sixers play this shrill after every Okafor basket for the rest of the season. Put opponents on notice.
1:21– Someone gets absolutely buried right in front of a car, which, thankfully, stops.
This appears dangerous.
It might have been Jahlil who shoved him– hard to tell:
We have seen this move before from our Jah.
1:22-1:25– It’s really unclear what’s going on here.
Hard to make out who’s a Jet and who’s a Shark. But, we spot someone, or something… a Nessy-like figure primed for battle:
This may actually be Sixer Christian Wood, who was allegedly present on this night. The ass looks like an athlete an ass… and a damn fine one, too:
1:26– Our unknown figure seems to be restraining Jahlil.
Also 1:26– This fucking guy.
Bro, just stay out of it.
1:27-1:29– Jah out.
Like a caped crusader, Okafor gets out of dodge before the po-po show up:
He’s the hero the Sixers deserve, but not the one they need right now.
1:29-1:32– “YOU ARE DISRESPECTING ONE OF THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE NBA!”
I absolutely love this guy. Where did he come from? Why is he there?! THEORY:
Looks like it wasn't Jahlil Okafor yelling it. Does he always travel with a hype man?! https://t.co/akbokcotn3
— Danny (@recordsANDradio) December 2, 2015
Brilliant. When I’m an NBA star, I’m hiring this guy. Everyone needs a hype man. Bringing one to a street fight is just a way to get that Rookie of the Year campaign started early. I fully expect to see this guy in ROY promos come March and at Jah’s acceptance speech. “YEAH! YEAH! TOLD YOU ALL! GREATNESS AWAITS! GREATNESS AWAITS!”
1:33-1:37– Some woman shouting at Jahlil.
You tell ’em, girl.
1:37-2:00– The aftermath.
Our videographer samples the carnage and seemingly can’t decide whether he’s outraged that he just watched Jahlil Okafor (potentially) knock someone out, or if he thinks this is awesome as visions of a TMZ payday begin dancing in his head. Probably the latter.
“Jesus fuck. Jahlil Okafor. Oh man! Come on, bro. Come on, bro. Come on, bro. Aw shit. We need an ambulance. Holy shit. Jahlil Okafor. He’s fucked up, bro. He needs an ambulance. He needs an ambulance, bro.”
Meanwhile, a car speeds away.
2:00-2:05– The lasting image of the Sixers’ tank.
2:05-2:07– Carnal yell.
And scene.