The Flyers announced this morning that Steve Mason will miss the game against MIKE RICHARDS’ CAPITALS tonight due to a lower-body injury (we don’t know if it’s actually his groin or something else resulting from the fact that he’s made of loosely-intertwined noodles). It is, perhaps, the most mundane and trivial bit of news that can possibly be released by a team lacking a clear number one goalie. But it enraged the collective group of asshats who cover the Flyers on a daily basis.

Using their spidey sense honed from years of live-tweeting professional hockey practices in the same manner that lemmings find the edges of cliffs, the beats noticed something was afoot yesterday when Mason missed his second-straight practice for what was apparently termed the all-too-familiar MAINTENANCE DAY (in hockey parlance: he was hungover and had a burning sensation he wanted to get checked out, too). They tweeted about it:

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Fair enough. Solid observations.

But today, when it was revealed that Mason is indeed hurt, the beats (and Sarah Baicker) oh so predictably took to Twitter to feign outrage and sarcasm in the name of you, the fans:

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DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT, GUYS. DO. SOMETHING. DIFFERENT.*

*It would be here that I note that the one guy who did do something different, Frank Seravalli, got a job with TSN.